Why You Shouldn't Hit Your Kids

Tuesday's post about spanking prompted a large reader response and some good discussion, for which I'm grateful.  One thing I love about blogs generally is that they allow for interactions with people all over the place. So thanks for making MLWP more interesting by getting involved!

This issue struck a chord with many people, and to that end, I'm posting an article I found - "Ten Reasons Not to Hit Your Kids," by Jan Hunt.  I'd love to hear your perspectives on the article. It raises some of the concerns about spanking brought up by readers in the comments to the last post. But it brings up other issues too. So before we move on to other issues, please check it out and let me know what you think.

Before I turn the floor over to you, I'll tell you that one thing that really made an impression on me as I've been reading and writing about this issue is the damaging effect that improper or ineffective discipline can have on your bond with your child. Despite all the other valid reasons spanking doesn't work or can be harmful, this one struck a chord with me because I think all of us as parents want to be loved by our kids, but we also want to be trusted. 

We want our kids to feel that they can talk to us about anything.  We want to be the ones who dry their tears and encourage them and celebrate their successes and pick them up after their failures. And relying on physical discipline very well may interfere with that trusting, nurturing bond we're seeking to develop. That alone is reason enough not to go there, at least for me.

To Spank or Not to Spank?

Yes, that is the question.  When I was reading articles and drafting my recent post on the frightening child abuse statistics in this country, I also began to think about spanking.  As I mentioned then, that's a topic for another day.  Today, in fact.

I will again provide the caveat that I am not necessarily equating child abuse and spanking. Sometimes, it's simply a form of discipline. My parents spanked me when I was a kid - that was before the advent of "time outs" - and I do not feel like I was abused at all.

Photo from corpun.com

But some parents don't just swat their kids' bottoms when they're frustrated. Some hit hard. Some use other things than hands, such as belts or other household objects.

And that, dear readers, is abusive in my book.