It's Okay to Say No

Really, this title could apply to a number of things: saying "no" to requests or demands for our time, so we don't extend ourselves; saying "no" to our kids when they shouldn't have or do something; saying "no" when we're asked to give money because we just don't have it.

But, those are all topics for other occasions. Today, I'm writing about an article that I read on cnn.com about telling our kids that it's okay to say "no" to relatives and friends who may want their affection.

This is something I'd never thought about, but it's an interesting and important thing to consider. The author of the article suggests that not only is it uncomfortable for our kids when we insist that they hug a grandmother or uncle even though they don't want to - but it's also sending a very negative message. It's telling our kids they should do things they don't want to do with their bodies just because they are asked to do them.

And that's just not okay.

Photo from seniorjournal.com

To Spank or Not to Spank?

Yes, that is the question.  When I was reading articles and drafting my recent post on the frightening child abuse statistics in this country, I also began to think about spanking.  As I mentioned then, that's a topic for another day.  Today, in fact.

I will again provide the caveat that I am not necessarily equating child abuse and spanking. Sometimes, it's simply a form of discipline. My parents spanked me when I was a kid - that was before the advent of "time outs" - and I do not feel like I was abused at all.

Photo from corpun.com

But some parents don't just swat their kids' bottoms when they're frustrated. Some hit hard. Some use other things than hands, such as belts or other household objects.

And that, dear readers, is abusive in my book.

A Different Kind of Epidemic

I recently read an article containing harrowing statistics about child abuse in this country.  Somehow, among the headlines about politics and primaries, financial crises and international issues, this caught my eye.

And it got me thinking.

There are so many "wars" we have going - the war on drugs, the war on poverty, etc. - why isn't anybody declaring a figurative "war" on child abuse? Why aren't we just as appalled by this phenomenon - if not more - as we are about childhood illness and obesity, for example?

The Pie, 2 months old