My Life with Pie: Thank You for Being a Friend, Part 2: The Wedding

Yesterday, I shared with you all the story of the chaos that our family experienced mere days before Heidi and I were to be married. I had started to think all sorts of self-pitying thoughts: why me? Why now? What if we have to cancel our wedding? I realize these are not, in the universal scheme of things, terrible problems. Many people have it much, much worse than we did.

But in my little world, at the time, things felt like they were falling apart. We didn't want to cancel the ceremony because we wouldn't be able to afford to arrange it all again. We had rented tables, chairs, fancy port-a-potties with sinks, all sorts of things we needed to make this farm wedding perfect. More importantly to me, some of my closest friends were coming from hundreds of miles away. They would have to cancel their travel plans at the last minute. Or maybe they would get here only to learn of the cancellation.

Photo by Kaitlin Jarry Photography

Then again, we did have to be realistic. As I had the tube placed, I was in NO physical shape to do anything but sleep, much less get married in front of tons of people. What if I passed out? Or got sick?

But then I got angry. I was determined we were going to do this no matter what, even if we had to beg our officiant to come to the hospital or to our home. August 17th was our wedding date, period. Surgery was not going to change that.

While the physicians and nurses kept me intermittently knocked out so I could tolerate the tube, which I repeatedly asked them to remove, Heidi, Kelsey and our amazing friends were doing everything they could to keep things going at home, to manage Anna's anxiety about my having to go back in, and to move forward with wedding plans even if we had to cancel on a moment's notice.

I spent Thursday night in the hospital and thankfully, early Friday morning, my tube was removed. I was more grateful to the doctors who took that thing out than I had been to anybody about anything for a long time. We got the green light to get married and I went home around noon, weak and in pain, but tubeless and happy nonetheless.

Part 2: The Wedding

Now, we had until 4:00 the following day to make this happen.

Or should I say, they had until 4:00. I was pretty much useless as far as wedding help went.

Unflattering photo (of me, anyway) courtesy of Heidi

Fortunately, Uncle Keith and Ferdie arrived to keep me company - well, to essentially babysit me in case I needed help! Corrie and her girls took Anna out to play and they had a blast. Our friend Ana helped Heidi get the gear to the farm and they, along with Ana's mom and a few other friends, I think (keep in mind that, thanks to anesthesia, some of these details are fuzzy for me!), set up the wedding arch, flowers and chairs and got things where they needed to be while I was trying to rest and gather some strength.

I felt badly about being unable to help.... and I also just felt badly. While I was excited that this was going to happen - barring any last-minute complication with my health - I felt miserable. I was not in the shape I had wanted to be to enjoy my wedding day and I was afraid my body wouldn't cooperate. I hadn't consumed anything since Monday other than fluids, meds, jello and several saltines. And I couldn't take pain medicine at the time so that my body's systems could return to normal. Not fun.

But spending time with Keith and Ferdie and my friend Ed that evening lifted my spirits, as did knowing that we were going to do this .... and before I knew it, my wedding day had arrived.

Much like with wedding setup, I had the easy part in terms of getting ready. While Heidi, Anna and Kelsey went up early to meet Heidi's friends for the Bridal Party Beautification Process, I had breakfast (as much as I could tolerate, anyway) with the guys, satisfied my two easy jobs with their help (getting flowers and printing programs), and went to their hotel to throw on my suit.

Getting all dolled up! - Photo by Kaitlin Jarry Photography

During this time, Sonya and John had opened up their farm, their home, to the wedding craziness. Uncle Gary and Becki were setting up video recording equipment and preparing to be our DJs. Corrie continued the setup and helped with Anna. Beth and Bill decorated our port-a-potties so they'd look as classy as port-a-potties can look. Bree was setting up activities for the tons of children under 10 who would be at the reception. Amie and Marc brought food and Marc set up a grill for the reception, which he generously manned for us. Our photographers got set up to capture all of the special moments to follow. Nancy, our wonderful officiant, was ready to go. My friends Julia and Ed prepared to do our readings in the ceremony. And Heidi's amazing girlfriends were doing her hair, makeup and nails, and Kelsey's too, along with their own. Even Anna got made up and donned a tiara!

Getting ready to lead the processional down the aisle with Kelsey! - Photo by Kaitlin Jarry Photography

For my part, I was just trying not to feel sick. And I was nervous - not so much about the wedding as about my physical condition. I was bleeding and in pain and still a little loopy. I just wanted to make it through the day without a problem. A glass of wine might have helped, but I couldn't have that either! When I arrived at the farm, I settled for a glass of water and a chair in case I needed to rest.

Waiting for the bride with Uncle Keith (and my backup chair)!

When I finally saw my beautiful daughters walking down the aisle, followed by their mother....well, I can admit it got to me a little.

And it even got to those of us who, shall we say, aren't always ones for sappy displays of emotion.

Photo by Mini-Me Photography

But hey, everyone is entitled to a little emotion at their own wedding. :)

From then on out, I didn't think too much about my healing wounds and stitches and exhaustion. I was carried by the elation and adrenaline that comes with marrying the love of your life in front of a ton of friends and relatives.

We do! - Photo by Kaitlin Jarry Photography

We got our happy ending, despite it all. We made it through the challenges and enjoyed one of the best days of our lives. And we may not have if it wasn't for all of you who helped in ways big and small. I have mentioned as many of you as I could....if I forgot anyone, please don't hate me. I either wasn't present for a lot of this or my memory has been addled by anesthesia. I had more strong medication in that week than I have in my whole life and, even two months out, I am still trying to recover my former energy level and mental acuity.

But what I do unmistakably remember is how loved, lucky, and blessed I felt to have such wonderful help and to have so many of our loved ones there to celebrate and share in our special day. And I am also thankful for the assistance that continued after the wedding when I still wasn't able to do very much. Corrie did the lion's share of un-decorating the farm herself. She and Jay helped me clean up the house and, along with Kelsey, took care of some errands and chores I simply couldn't handle when Heidi went back to work. Even Annapie helped me around the house and just took care of me so lovingly.

I should also say a special thank you to my wife, who was my rock throughout all of this. I usually try hard to be the strong one, the one who keeps things rolling and handles the details, and I just couldn't.... and she was a rock star. Although we had a lot of help, Heidi did so much to keep the wedding prep process going, to keep people informed about the ceremony and about my condition, and to keep me calm during a miserable and nerve-wracking experience. She made sure I resisted the temptation I always have to push myself too hard, so that I could really recover. That means more to me than I can say.

One of my favorite parts of the ceremony was during our vows, when we got to the part about caring for each other in sickness and health. We both grinned, and as Heidi made that promise to me, I nodded and said, "I know." And that elicited some laughs.

Photo by Kaitlin Jarry Photography

So I just had to express my gratitude once again for the many, many people who helped make this wonderful day possible for us. It literally came together in less than 48 hours on top of a lot of medical chaos, and it was AMAZING. Heidi and I appreciate your love and generosity from the bottom of our hearts. And we are so grateful that you are part of our family. We love you!

Scroll on if you'd like to see more photos from the day (by Kaitlin Jarry Photography):