If It's Good Enough for Brad and Angelina.....

So, as you may or may not remember (my feelings will only be a little hurt if you don’t), I recently wrote about why marriage equality is important in my post, “When You Get Caught Between the Moon and New York City.” I stepped out of my comfort zone a little bit and spoke from the heart about why marriage matters to me, to lots of other gay people, and especially to our wonderful kids. 

When I started this parenting blog, I thought I should shy away from “controversial” issues for fear of alienating readers.  Obviously I want anyone and everyone to get in on our dialogue on My Life With Pie. But one thing I’ve noticed when I track the blog’s statistics (which really are fascinating) is that being true to myself works best. 

I think I always knew that, but I needed the reminder (which was also inspired by the blog, Will Work 4Followers – check it out if you’re a blogger too).  

My (arguably) two most heartfelt posts, “The Family You Choose” and the “Moon and New York City,” (both of which discuss my journey of self-acceptance and my identity as a gay parent) have been the most read of any of my posts.  The only one closer to my heart is “The Adventure Begins,” my first post that tells our family’s special story.  

So, that tells me to keep speaking from the heart and not to be afraid of people’s reactions.  After all, blogs generally are about putting all sorts of ideas out there for exploration. And, love me or hate me, all I can really be is me. What you see is what you get.

With that said, I thought I’d take another slight departure from the norm and toss in a bit of celebrity news.  Normally I don’t care about that kind of “news” enough to discuss it, but this one caught my eye:

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are allegedly (sorry for the lawyer word) getting married.  You can read about it here.

Photo credit:  Eric Ryan/Getty Images

I know, at first glance, you might think, “Who cares”?!  But I do, and here’s why:  though they’ve been together for a number of years, they’ve long resisted the institution of marriage because it excludes gay people. Their firm commitment to not marrying is a pretty grand gesture of solidarity for us GLBT folks.

But, if there’s one thing that can change people’s plans, it’s having kids.  

Now that Brad and Angie (if I may be so familiar, even though I’ll never meet them) have built a lovely family together, they are reconsidering their stance on this issue. Why, you ask?  Because of their kids.

Brad Pitt recently told interviewers that the kids have asked them about marriage and that it’s gradually becoming more important to them.  And now it is rumored that they are planning to marry (yes, I said rumored, so check your favorite entertainment mag for more info). What can I say?

I told you so.

Kids care about marriage.  They care about how the world views their families.  The Jolie-Pitt kids probably have everything that any kid could dream of, and more.  Their parents are famous, they have lots of money, they have a few different homes, and they travel a lot.  I bet they have pretty awesome toys and clothes and meet amazing people. What more could they want?

The answer:  they want what every other kid wants.  Marriage brings this mystical, invisible, social imprimatur to families. It’s an integral part of social consciousness. It affects how everybody else sees you.  Your parents can be the richest, most famous, most loving parents there are….but somehow, if they get married, it seems to make you a “real” family in this indescribable, intangible way. 

Photo from: http://density.multiply.com/photos/photo/112/4.

You’re in the club.

Obviously, I’m not inside the minds of the Brangelina children.  Maybe they feel like their family is more likely to stay together if their parents marry. Maybe they want to feel like everyone else, just for a moment. I’m not sure, but I am sure that many kids also care about marriage, whether their parents are straight or gay. 

I bet if gay kids’ parents could marry, they wouldn’t care whether they had a “traditional family” or not.  To be sure, it is the love of a family’s members, not their gender, which matters most. And if our kids’ families had the same words applied to them (“husband,” “wife,” “marriage”), it wouldn’t matter whether we were two men, two women or a man and a woman.  This is a universal experience that all families should be able to choose to have if they want it.

There, I’m off my soapbox.  But I felt vindicated when I read this because I think it proves my point.  This isn’t just another polarizing political issue. It’s something that affects, and matters to, families all over the world.

Hopefully the rest of society will catch up. And congrats to the happy couple!  Solidarity is awesome, but nothing is as important as your kids.