Bad Guys 101

Here we go, my first post in a year and a half or so. What prompted me to write after all this time was our recent foray into the not-so-nice side of human nature in the airport.

Last weekend, Anna and I were flying home from visiting my mom. It was late in the evening, we'd had two flights already, and we still had a two-hour car ride home to look forward to.  It was a long day for sure.  We waited at the baggage carousel. Anna insisted on getting her own suitcase and wandered to the other side. Eventually we both got our bags and took all of our stuff over to some chairs to wait for Mama Heidi to pick us up.

And then panic struck. "Mom, my bag is gone!" Anna exclaimed.  "What do you mean, gone? It was right here....wasn't it?"  I couldn't remember.  My mind was fuzzy and I was tired. I figured it had to be around the area somewhere.  So we started searching and turned up empty-handed.  As we talked, Anna realized she may have left her backpack on the floor. She thinks she put it down when she went to grab her suitcase from the carousel.  Sure enough, we had two suitcases but only one backpack.

I struggled to remember what was in it.  Thankfully, there was no money. There were no electronics.  But unfortunately, what Anna lost was something far more precious to her - some of her snuggly friends. There was Felix the Fox, who had been going to school in Anna's backpack since we got him on vacation last summer.  There was Todd the Otter, a special friend from grandma from when we visited real river otters at the living museum.  There was Chester Cheetah, Pugsly and Chip (puppies she'd just gotten for Valentine's Day), Prickles the Hedgehog and Shelly the Turtle, from Anna's baby days.  The one silver lining is that Anna's all-time favorite best stuffed friend, Beary, was still with us. Whew. I can't imagine what would've happened if he'd been in the bag.

Beary, Anna's best buddy

The Black Hole

I am underwater.  Or maybe in a tunnel.  I know there is light above, somewhere, and I want to reach for it, to embrace it, but something holds me back.  I'm groggy.  I feel heavy.  Pulling myself up seems like a Herculean task.

I hear well-meaning voices at the surface.  They call to me with the pull of everyday life - there is grocery shopping to be done.  Laundry to be washed.  Motions to write.  Clients to call.  A child to bathe.  A family to spend time with.  And yet.....they are so far away.  I can't quite reach.

And yet, I cannot fail to do these things. Can I?

And yet.

Untethered

Ironically, my last post was about Anna’s taking many pictures of me due to her fear that I would die and that she wouldn’t be able to cope with it.  As I wrote that post, I could not have even imagined that, just over a month later, I would be the one losing a parent.

Two weeks after that post appeared, I got the terrible news that my father, seemingly out of the blue, had been diagnosed with advanced pancreatic cancer, Stage IV, which had metastasized to his liver and lungs.  I felt a palpable shift in my universe. I just couldn’t believe it.  He was only 65.  He was fit and healthy and wasn't a smoker and enjoyed exercising and had lots of energy. How could this be??

Things got worse over the next few days as we learned how extensive the illness was and as I researched the nightmare that is pancreatic cancer.  Of course, all cancer is terrible, but at least there are treatment options with many types of cancer.  Sometimes, treatment works and puts people into remission.  Sometimes it just buys time.  But either way, there is often something that people can hold onto that provides even just a little hope.

With pancreatic cancer…not so much.  It’s usually a silent killer – typically, by the time you know you have it, you’ve run out of time for any effective treatment. 

Sadly, that was the case with my dad.

Dad and me, June 8, 2014

He died on June 24, 2014.  Less than a month after his diagnosis.

My world came to a grinding halt.

Unexpected Child Moment #564

Just remember I love you, and it will be all right,

Just remember I love you more than I can say.

--"Just Remember I Love You," Firefall

It was bedtime, on a night like any other night. Which means that, as usual, there was major stalling going on.  This evening's particular stalling involved Anna taking numerous pictures of me with my cell phone.  Then we took funny pictures together.  And then it was really bedtime.

As we lay snuggling, she turns to me and says, "Do you know why I took all those pictures of you?"

"No, why?" I say, waiting for something hilarious.

"Because I want lots of pictures of you for when you're gone."

What?

I thought we were just having fun....

Friday Fun: Kids and the Pets Who Tolerate Them

Happy Friday!

This week, I'd like readers who feel so inclined to share their comical photos of their kids and their pets.  I think it's really important for kids to have pets because they learn responsibility and how to take care of living things.  They also get the unconditional love and snuggles family pets so willingly provide.

Best buds!

But, sometimes those poor pets don't quite know what to make of the exuberance of the little people in their households.  At times it can surely be frightening, and at times just plain weird. Still, most pets (thankfully, like ours) are incredibly loving and understanding toward these overly active, loud, enthusiastic beings.

Anna with Kelsey's cat, Artemis

As It Is Meant to Be

I was scanning the headlines on msn.com one day when I came across this article.  I hope you will read it too. It resonated with me for many reasons, particularly that we, like Dr. Snyderman, never envisioned raising a child together and when that opportunity came along, with little or no time to prepare, we plunged in and said yes.

And it was meant to be, and it has worked out more than beautifully.

I'm Going to be a Grand-WHAT?!

Sooo yeah, there are some things you don't necessarily expect to experience when you're 36. I'm already dealing with one of them - arthritis in my back - but that's about it.  That is, until recently, when Heidi and I found out that we're going to be - gasp! - grandparents.

Our Kelsey is going to have her first child next summer. We were surprised, slightly freaked out, and a little worried, as parents sometimes are when they find out their "baby" is going to have a baby of her own. But we are also very happy for her because she is happy, and we know she's going to be a wonderful mom. And I for one am super excited about having a baby in my life again! I loved those snuggly baby days with Anna and I am sure I will love snuggling with my grandbaby.

Photos of the Week: Personality

Recently, Heidi and I looked at a webpage through Facebook that claimed to match you to the type of animal you are based on your Myers-Briggs personality test results.  For those of you who aren't familiar with that test, you might want to check it out here.

Anyway, Heidi got a lion, and reading the description, it was no big surprise.

Which brings me to my own results.

I got......wait for it.....the meerkat.  That's right, the partner of the big, proud, fearsome lion is this little cuddly thing that was the model for Timon in The Lion King.

Photo from disney.com

Exciting Day for the Blog

As I've been pondering what I'm thankful for, with Thanksgiving approaching, I happened to check the blog's stats page and realized we have surpassed 100,000 page views (and counting)! I know that's nowhere near close to viral, but for a little blog written by a random person who's not well known, I think that's pretty darn good.

I am grateful to have readers in various countries around the world who, for whatever reason, think what we have to say is interesting. I never imagined that possibility when I started MLWP back in June of 2011. I always wanted to be a writer, and even though that's not my profession, I love having this opportunity to be a blogger, even just for fun. I'm proud of this blog and I hope it continues to be something you enjoy reading.

Thank you to all of you for checking us out!

Friday Fun/Photo of the Week: "Luuuuuuccccy!"

Heidi and I rarely get out.  So our recent opportunity to go to a Halloween costume party for the first time in years was exciting!

For this week's Friday entertainment, I'll share a photo of our costume efforts:

Is that Vitameatavegimin in that cup?!

This Is Really the Last of the 5 Best Decisions, I Swear

Two days ago, I started what has turned out to be this little series, exploring the family and career choices I have made over the years that have given me the life I have today.  One of the reasons I decided to write about this topic is that it can be uplifting to focus on the positive in a world that often focuses on the negative. Sometimes we just need a reminder. I have really enjoyed the chance to take a few moments to reflect on all that I have to be grateful for.

Today I conclude my series with the immortal words of Diana Ross:

I'm coming out

I want the world to know

Got to let it show....

--"I'm Coming Out"

5.  Coming out

I have written before about my struggles of self-acceptance as a gay person, and some of the challenges of my journey. Today, I have a life I never dreamed was possible when I was a frightened 14 year old starting to deal with this issue. Today, we are fortunate to live in a society where acceptance of gay people is more prevalent than ever before, and where we are finally being afforded the legal rights and protections everyone else has.

Although we still have a long way to go, it's remarkable.

Photo by Sarah Rice/Getty Images

More of the 5 Best Decisions I've Ever Made

Yesterday I began to share with you what I feel are the 5 best decisions I ever made and why, which I'll continue today. Try to think of your own best decisions sometime - it will really make you feel good. And hopefully less inclined to focus on the not-so-great decisions.

3.  Going to Law School

Like beginning a relationship with Heidi brought me two daughters to love, going to law school brought Heidi into my life.  Which, if I'm being honest, is probably the main reason I'm glad I went.

This is truly an "everything happens for a reason" story.  I had been a paralegal, which I loved, but I had reached the limit of promotability and professional development.  There was nowhere else to go but lawyer if I was going to stay in this field.

Photo from www.associatesmind.com

The 5 Best Decisions I've Ever Made

When I was driving home from work the other day, I thought, as I often do, about how I couldn't wait to see Anna.  And how I hoped she would behave! LOL.  Then I thought about how lucky I am to have her to come home to....and how I never imagined I'd have a kid at home waiting for me.

Now, I've made plenty of stupid, poor, or just plain bad decisions in my life.  And it seems to me that I dwell on them and punish myself for them way more than I dwell on the positive things that have happened for me as a result of decisions I made.  And I'm not sure why.

And that's just sad.

Guess you never know what will happen.....

My Kid, the Lawyer

Often, parents say they would like to see their children follow in their footsteps in terms of career choices. Whether it's continuing a lineage of public service, running the store that's been in the family for generations or joining the military, some people fervently wish for their kids to take the same path they did.

Well, not me.

See, my kid is already on the same path I chose.  I'm a lawyer.  When I was a child, my parents said I should be a lawyer....but I don't believe they meant it as a compliment.  They meant I was argumentative and wouldn't give up.  I suppose they thought those attributes made for a good lawyer, but one heck of an obnoxious kid.

I wanted to give orders, not take them!

It's Okay to Screw Up

The title is self-explanatory.  But the emotion behind it is more complicated.

See, lately I've been struggling with Parenting Perfectionism.  It's capitalized because it is, in fact, a thing. And it's not a good thing. 

Don't get me wrong, it's great to want to do the best job possible for your child.  In fact, if you didn't want that for him or her, there might be something really wrong with you.

Great job! (Playing our ABC game)

But I am learning that there's a difference between wanting to do the best you can as a parent, and pursuing goals that are unrealistic, which sets you up for failure.  And feeling like you're a lousy parent isn't good for you OR your child.

Happy Halloween!

In honor of Halloween, I will post a photo of Anna's prize pumpkin, which she named Herbert.  We picked him out on our recent pumpkin wagon ride for "Me and You Day."

I hope all of you readers have a fabulous and spooky Halloween and enjoy trick-or-treating with your kiddos tonight!  Be safe and have fun.  And if some evil person out there decides to be the "candy police" for your kid (see yesterday's post)....tell them exactly what you think!

The Candy Police?

I am now interrupting the regularly scheduled post I planned to write to bring you some Halloween-themed ridiculousness that I just encountered online.

Picture it: Halloween night.  Adorable children are in their costumes, gleefully skipping from house to house saying, "Trick or Treat!" and filling their baskets with yummy candy. Except, when they say "Trick or Treat," they don't actually expect a trick.  Particularly not as nasty a "trick" as this one employed by a heartless woman in North Dakota.

Photo from www.today.com

That's right, folks, some wonderful lady decided to help kids celebrate Halloween by telling them they're fat.

A nasty trick, indeed.

Photo of the Week: Science Humor

This week's Photo of the Week is dedicated to all you science geeks out there. :)

LOL. If you have any funny kid-related cartoons that you'd like to share, email them to us at mylifewithpie@gmail.com and we will post them!

Friday Fun: We've All Been There

Happy Friday!  Today I will share with you an image that has been popular on my Facebook page.  I am sure all of you parents can relate!

I don't know where this came from, but I know this is SO my life. :)

Have a great weekend, all you multitasking parents!

Firsts.

Sometimes I miss those little baby days of firsts.  First real food, first words, first crawling, first steps, first running....so many things. The growth is constantly visible and occurs so quickly it can be mind-boggling.

At one month old, everything is new and exciting!

Then, after a couple of years, the pace seems a little slower for some reason.  To be sure, there are still milestones - words turn into sentence fragments that turn into sentences, scribbles turn into letters that turn into written words, doodles turn into amorphous shapes that turn into stick figures.  The evolution is more reasonably paced - so much so that you might not even realize it's happening until it does.

Which is probably why, in these last few months, the several "firsts" we've experienced with Anna seem so striking.

This may be Anna's first real character drawing - "It's a minion giving another minion a haircut, mom!"