Are We Really "Born This Way"? (2 of 2)

This is the part of me that you're never gonna ever take away from me,

Throw your sticks and your stones, throw your bombs and your blows,

But you're not gonna break my soul-

This is the part of me that you're never gonna ever take away from me, no.

--Katy Perry, "Part of Me"

When we last left our elementary school heroine, she routinely sat in the shrink's office, utterly confused as to why she was there.

Okay, enough with the third person.

I went to counseling on and off for about three years.  And one day, a lightbulb went off. I thought about Christmas, when I was roughly 6 years old, and I cried when my great aunt got me a Barbie doll. I thought about the Herculean effort it sometimes took for my mom to get me in dresses for church.  I thought about how most of my buddies were boys. I thought about how I was obsessed with baseball and played pretend games in which I was a male detective.

"I want to be a boy. I wish I was a boy" rang in my head.

Although it looks like someone else...even I can admit this is cute. (Age 6)

Are We Really "Born This Way"? (1 of 2)

I'm beautiful in my way, 'cause God makes no mistakes,

I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way.

--Lady Gaga, "Born This Way"

And now for a nature/ nurture presentation from our sponsors. LOL.

Seriously, I decided to write this post today after having read an article posted on Facebook and the comments that followed. The article was about a father's support of his "gay" 7-year-old son. Heartwarming, right?

Not to some people, of course.

Me at Halloween dressed as a Yankee - age 10

Mr. Mom

You may remember that Heidi recently wrote a post about disproving gender stereotypes in parenting. If you haven't read it yet, please check it out.  (Although you may be inadvertently feeding her ego - turns out that, to date, her post is the most read post in the 6-month history of the blog! My blog. LOL. So feel free to check out "Worrywart," the next most-read one, and give her some competition.)

But I digress.

Her post basically explained the ways in which she embodies many of the more traditional "dad" qualities and I am more like a traditional "mom," which may be surprising given our outward appearances.  But whatever way you slice it, we're a good team for our kids, so we must be doing something right!

Well, along those lines, I just read this article on CNN.com, written by a woman whose husband fills the mom role sometimes more than she does. If you found Heidi's post interesting, compare it with this article and tell us what you think about gender stereotypes and how they actually play out in real-life families.

In what ways does your family/ parenting style conform or not conform to the stereotypes?

Dude Looks Like a Lady: Gendering Parenthood

I am the Dad.  Or, better yet, I am the 1950s Dad.  I work long hours, come home to dinner on the table most nights, and contribute very rarely to routine housework.  I am the major breadwinner and I handle all of the household jobs that require muscle or the use of tools. 

Yet these characteristics are not what make me the Dad.  Rather, it is the relationship that I share with Anna that makes me the Dad in our family.

Happy together, Oct. 2011

Here Comes Another Awesome Guest Post!

It seems that My Life With Pie is really becoming a family affair. I do the writing, Uncle Keith does the tech support, and now Mama Heidi is inching her way toward becoming a regular guest post writer.

Tomorrow we're featuring Heidi's 2nd guest post here on the blog. Here's a bit of a teaser.....have you ever thought about what makes a mom a mom?  Or what makes a dad a dad?  Is it just gender, or is it how we express our gender?  Let's face it, some of us moms aren't the gentle, warm and fuzzy type, and some dads aren't the strong, tough, provider type.  Some moms can be tougher than typical dads, and some dads can be sweeter and more nurturing than typical moms. Sometimes the stereotypes are just plain wrong.

Of course, gender issues become even more nuanced when there is a single parent who has to be both mom and dad, or when, like us, the parents are a same-sex couple.  Some people have wondered which one of us is the "mom" and which one is the "dad." Do we fit into those typical roles?  Should we?  Why is this what people expect?

Please tune in tomorrow as Heidi tackles this complicated and very interesting topic. See you then!

The Gender Divide, Part 2: Superhero Butt

In a previous post, The Gender Divide, I discussed the sharply delineated pink and blue aisles at toy stores and the resulting, prevailing attitudes that girls should like dolls and princesses and boys should like cars and trucks and soldiers.

Now, with the advent of intense potty training, we’ve hit a new iteration of this problem:  big kid underwear.

The Gender Divide

“I’m a boy,” she announces one day as we’re hanging out in the living room. “You’re a girl,” I reply. Then she says, “No, I’m a boy who climbs trees.” I had to chuckle.