Are We Really "Born This Way"? (2 of 2)

This is the part of me that you're never gonna ever take away from me,

Throw your sticks and your stones, throw your bombs and your blows,

But you're not gonna break my soul-

This is the part of me that you're never gonna ever take away from me, no.

--Katy Perry, "Part of Me"

When we last left our elementary school heroine, she routinely sat in the shrink's office, utterly confused as to why she was there.

Okay, enough with the third person.

I went to counseling on and off for about three years.  And one day, a lightbulb went off. I thought about Christmas, when I was roughly 6 years old, and I cried when my great aunt got me a Barbie doll. I thought about the Herculean effort it sometimes took for my mom to get me in dresses for church.  I thought about how most of my buddies were boys. I thought about how I was obsessed with baseball and played pretend games in which I was a male detective.

"I want to be a boy. I wish I was a boy" rang in my head.

Although it looks like someone else...even I can admit this is cute. (Age 6)

Preview: The Scary Place That Is My Psyche

I finally decided to do what I swore I wouldn't on this blog - and that is let all of cyberspace know just how crazy I am.

I know, I know, it's long been painfully obvious.

But seriously.....recent events in my life and conversations I've had have prompted me to begin writing a series of posts about my own process of self-discovery and some of my childhood experiences. Don't be disappointed when it turns out not to be totally earth-shattering, because it isn't.

However, it is deeply personal stuff, some of which I've only confided to very close friends. But reading an article about another child's experience of not fitting the gender stereotype "mold," whatever that is, and the opinions people expressed about that situation, made me want to write more than I have in a long time.

Not only is it good for me to do that for myself, but it might also be good for other people - for people who feel intolerant of anything remotely "different," for the kids who feel "different," and for the parents who feel afraid or disappointed or just confused when their kid seems like he or she might be "different." Maybe only a handful of people will read it, and that's okay - it's good for me to relive things that are hard and to remember how far I've come.

But maybe, just maybe, it would be useful to hear about these things from the kid's perspective. So, tune in tomorrow and Thursday, and I'll tell you exactly what it feels like to be "different."

The (Serious) Hits

Last week, I posted a list of my favorite pieces on the blog that were sweet or funny (aside from those already featured in the "popular posts" column). Many of them were written in the blog's infancy, so I wanted to remind people that they're there.

Now I'd like to call your attention to a few of my favorite posts of a more serious/ political/ thought-provoking nature. Please check them out and let us know what you think!

The Gender Divide - describes the sometimes ridiculous delineation between toys and interests that are supposed to be "just for girls" or "just for boys" and explores what some of the underlying concerns are when kids don't neatly fit the "ideal" gender stereotype.

Dude Looks Like a Lady: Gendering Parenthood

I am the Dad.  Or, better yet, I am the 1950s Dad.  I work long hours, come home to dinner on the table most nights, and contribute very rarely to routine housework.  I am the major breadwinner and I handle all of the household jobs that require muscle or the use of tools. 

Yet these characteristics are not what make me the Dad.  Rather, it is the relationship that I share with Anna that makes me the Dad in our family.

Happy together, Oct. 2011