Grilled cheese. Spaghetti. Chicken tenders. Pizza. Fries. This was my meal rotation for the bulk of my childhood. Of course my parents fed me healthy stuff too, but if there was something on the menu that I didn’t like, I turned to the aforementioned staples to get me through.
I was very grateful that mine weren’t the sort of parents that make you sit there for hours with a meal you hate, having to eat every last bite to win your freedom. That just seems cruel to me. They were also very accommodating in terms of alternate meals. If I didn’t like the main course, I could have a can of spaghetti (I used to love that – strange), or a grilled cheese, or something like that instead.
What I do wish I had done, though, is try more stuff. Crazy as it seems, I never even tried any of these things until after graduating college: fish (really, seafood of any kind), broccoli, salad, Chinese food, Mexican food, anything spicy, Thai or Indian food, and many other vegetables I now love, like red peppers. My parents weren’t really into spicy food. My mom hates seafood and never wanted to stink up the kitchen by cooking it.
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Summer 2010 |
At restaurants, I asked for fries without seasoning (which earned me my fair share of weird looks from waiters). When we ate my favorite dish at home, Chicken Romano, I would line up the onions around the edge of my plate, grateful that my mom cut them big enough to spot and remove. If I refused to try things, that usually was no big deal.
I was kind of a weirdo, huh? (That’s a rhetorical question, don’t feel compelled to answer.)
Well, thanks to a culinary awakening, I’m a different person now. Thai food is my favorite food. I love seafood and spicy dishes. In fact, the only thing listed above that I continue not to eat is salad, and that’s just because I don’t like dressing and salad is boring without it.
So, the contradiction between my childhood eating habits and my adult ones makes me wonder how I should handle picky eating when Anna is the picky eater. Any ideas, readers?
On the one hand, I sympathize with reluctance to try new things. On the other, I know she will eat healthier and have an easier time ordering at restaurants if she’s not as picky as I was for her entire childhood.
One thing I will NOT do is force her to eat something she hates. I do want her to try things once, and if she doesn’t like a particular dish, I won’t push it. Perhaps she’ll try again someday. If not, oh well. I also don’t do the marathon stare-down until she’s done. And thankfully, we don’t have the vegetable battle many parents and kids do. Anna loves broccoli and asks for seconds almost every time.
But, one battle we’ve recently been waging is the “I don’t like dinner, I just want dessert” (or a snack) phase. This almost always happens, even if dinner is something she loves. I’m fine with offering dessert as a reward if she eats enough of the healthy stuff, but not with giving in on my insistence that a satisfactory amount of dinner be consumed. This makes for long meals sometimes.
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Spring 2010 |
The other issue is trying new things. Anna loves Chinese food, which is one thing I never would have even tried. She also enjoyed a chicken and rice dish with an Indian-inspired sauce, and the chicken I make with fajitas. But sometimes there’s an absolute refusal. I want her to try things because most of the time, she’ll like them and it will expand her food horizons. If I’d been made to try some things I thought I’d hate, I would’ve started enjoying them a lot sooner.
I guess what I’m wondering is, how do you get reluctant kiddos to try new things, so that your rotation of meals can grow? Sometimes we tend to get stuck in a food rut (which also has to do with time and money, but certainly picky eating is a factor too). What are your thoughts on the subject?
My mom did not offer desert as a reward. It was offered on nights she wanted to offer it and only to those who finished their dinner. After not getting desert twice you learned to eat your meal. Also, you had to try everything on your plate but if you didn't like it you had to pick something the same color to eat (ex. I don't like broccoli so I always substituted green beans.). I'm still a picky eater but I will try new things.
ReplyDeleteWe do not force our kids to clean their plates or to eat foods that they do not like. We do ask that they try one bite of something, though. If they don't like it, they don't have to finish it. They do have to eat at least one serving of a fruit or veggie at every meal.
ReplyDeleteWe never have "dessert." We do have a nightly/bedtime snack. Sometimes it's sweet (like ice cream) and sometimes it's more healthy (like fruit or yogurt). If they did not eat enough dinner, then they have to have a healthy snack. So they might be having a cheese stick while the others are having chocolate. They learn!
If they complain after snack that they are still hungry then my standard response is, "Then you should have eaten more dinner."
Great posts, Courtney!I agree with not making a child finish his/her food. Growing up - dinner was served. Dessert was every other night. I was never forced to eat my dinner. However, if I wanted dessert - I had to eat my dinner. It was my choice. I will note, though, that my parents often seemed to pair fish night (which was not my favorite as a child) with dessert night. But still, it was my choice. And now it's our son's choice. Additionally, I don't believe in making an entirely separate meal for my son. If he's hungry - he'll eat. But, a simple alternative is typically availalbe - such as a peanut butter sandwhich. If he's eaten a dish before, however, and liked it - and is now simply being picky and refusing to eat it - I'm less accomodating. Luckily, Eben eats a ton and (knock on wood) is not a picky eater - so I'm not worried about him starving if he doesn't eat his asparagus! And who knows - my approach may change as he gets older!
ReplyDeletei'm on the same page w/you! we don't want to turn Anna off to food by pushing it too much but we don't want to have her personal chef whip up something she prefers every time either!@ lol.
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