Through Her Eyes

I often listen to the things Anna says and chuckle, sometimes wistfully.  And sometimes, she really makes me stop in my tracks and think.  Those moments take my breath away.  There is a part of me that wishes I could really remember what it felt like to view the world as simply and beautifully as a child does.

What kind of people would all of us be if we had the innocent, sweet perspective that our kids do?

Recently, I have been blessed with two experiences that helped me remember....and one of them made me wish I was as consciously kind and caring a person as my child is.

I'm always looking at things in a really cool way!

The First Story

Recently, I was standing in my yard after dinner one night as Anna played in the yard.  Out of nowhere, she came up to me and said, "Mom, Ken is here.  His spirit is here."  I looked at her quizzically and asked what made her say that.  She then held out her hand and offered me a tiny flower. 

"See, Mom? Ken's spirit is right here with us," she explained, pointing to the flower.  Tears welled up in my eyes as I gave her a huge hug.  I thanked her for that.  She responded, "I thought that would make you happy to know that, Mom," and gave me a kiss.  Then she ran off to play, on to the next thing. 

But that sweet, loving gesture stayed with me all night and into the following days.  The fact that she understands (admittedly without much religious instruction) that there are signs of God's love and presence everywhere, really amazed me. I've often heard that children have a connection to the spirit world, to our loved ones that have left us, and I already believed it.  But now I know.

The Second Story

The other anecdote is not only moving, it was a real lesson for me.

Last Saturday morning, Anna and I had been out running errands.  We stopped for a red light, and at the intersection stood a homeless man holding a sign.  Anna asked what it said and I told her, "Homeless, Hungry, Hurting."  She didn't say anything.  The light changed and I drove ahead.

Instantly, Anna said, "Mom, why didn't you help him?" I was surprised by that.  She had never brought it up before.  I just told her that I usually don't help in that way. But she was not letting me off the hook that easily.

"But Mom.  You're a lawyer! Your job is to help people. You should have helped him!"

I looked at her in the rearview mirror, surprised that she was so upset about the whole thing.  "Lawyers help people in a lot of different ways, honey," I said. "This is really bothering you, isn't it?" I asked.

"Yeah.  You should have helped him and now we missed our chance."

Ouch.  Sometimes it hurts to admit when someone else is right, but ... my kid was right.

"No, we haven't," I said.  I turned on a side street and circled around and eventually made it back to that intersection.  As we neared it, Anna didn't see him and was really worried he was gone.  But when we got there, I was relieved to notice he was still there. 

I felt badly that all I had was $2, but I gave it to him and also gave him a fruit and yogurt parfait I had bought but not yet opened.  Anna waved to him.  His smile and gratitude, and Anna's smile of happiness, made my whole day.

"God bless you," he said.  And I said the same.  And then I thought, wow, He really did bless me with this amazing, sweet child.  It's the best feeling I'd had in a long time.

On our way home, Anna was still grinning.  I thanked her for that experience.  I thanked her for making me stop and think about other people more than I do.  I admitted that sometimes life feels so busy and hectic that all I think about is the list of ten things I have to do next.  I often don't think of others as much as I should, or even notice my surroundings. 

I'm sure I miss opportunities of all kinds to make a difference on a daily basis.  But I wanted her to know I didn't go back to help him because I'm a lawyer. I did it because it was just the right thing to do, I told her.  And I made sure she knew that she was the reason I realized I should do it.

"You make me want to be a better person.  Thank you for that.  I am so glad we were able to help him.  Every little bit is important," I told Anna with a smile.

"I love you Mom.  I'm glad too!!" she replied, giving me a high five.

I'm not sharing this to brag or make it out like I did something amazing. I didn't.  It was just a small, random act of kindness.  And it was initiated by my child, not me.  I'm just sharing it because it was a beautiful experience, and I'm thankful I have a kid who wants to help other people, and who challenges me to do that too. 

I hope I always see what Anna sees in this world, in other people, in everything.

Pure love.