It's Okay to Say No

Really, this title could apply to a number of things: saying "no" to requests or demands for our time, so we don't extend ourselves; saying "no" to our kids when they shouldn't have or do something; saying "no" when we're asked to give money because we just don't have it.

But, those are all topics for other occasions. Today, I'm writing about an article that I read on cnn.com about telling our kids that it's okay to say "no" to relatives and friends who may want their affection.

This is something I'd never thought about, but it's an interesting and important thing to consider. The author of the article suggests that not only is it uncomfortable for our kids when we insist that they hug a grandmother or uncle even though they don't want to - but it's also sending a very negative message. It's telling our kids they should do things they don't want to do with their bodies just because they are asked to do them.

And that's just not okay.

Photo from seniorjournal.com

So Happy Together

[I’m 3 for 3 with the song titles!]

Continuing with our series about the ten most important “parental competencies” we need to have, today I’ll be discussing relationship skills, which follows love and stress management on the list.

At first glance, this seems like a no-brainer:   if the parental couple is generally happy, the children will be happier too.  But what does it mean to be “happy”?  That kids should see a lot of affection between their parents?  That they should be kept up to date on what’s going on with their parents? That spouses shouldn’t fight in front of the kids?

What's Love Got to Do With It?

Yesterday, we described an article about parenting skills prioritized by researchers. It listed, in order of importance, the ten “parenting competencies” that are most important to the development of healthy, happy children and strong parent-child relationships. This week, I’ll be discussing each of them in more detail and asking for your opinions as well.

It’s no surprise that love and affection top the list here. Surely everyone knows that showing that we care is important right? Well….maybe not so much. Or, even if we do understand that, sometimes we fall short in that department.