Don't get me wrong, I have enjoyed wishing my friends a Happy New Year and receiving their greetings as well. But I should warn you (spoiler alert!), if you're filled with optimism and joy about the new year, well....this post just may not be for you.
I have mixed feelings about the beginning of a new year. Sometimes I do get caught up in the excitement and want to go out. Sometimes I stay up to watch the ball drop or have a champagne toast with loved ones and friends wherever I may be. In fact, I have very fond memories of several new years celebrations.
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| Photo from 101concepts.com |
But what really affects me is the idea of a clean slate. And I'm not just talking about resolutions.
I've tended to be an optimist most of my life, though I fear I'm sliding more toward the realist column. However, the idea of a new year with a clean slate does appeal to my inner optimist. I haven't made real resolutions in a number of years, but at the beginning of each January, I do find myself reflecting on the old year and brimming with positive energy about the new one.
Or at least hoping it's not as rough as the one before it.
When I stop to think about the events of any past year on December 31, I do dredge up a few positives to cheer my spirit. But mostly my mind tends to wander to all the difficult, stressful, rough things that have happened in the year, and I breathe a sigh of relief that it's almost over. This train of thought tends to end with, "I sure as hell hope the new year is a better one."
And the pattern repeats itself almost every year. So as 2011 was winding down and my thoughts about the events of the old year and the significance of the new one began to formulate, I stopped in my tracks. I wondered why I go through this seemingly futile exercise every year.
Because, at least in recent memory, it seems that every year has been filled with its own distinct hardships and challenges for my family that we couldn't have expected. We begin our Januaries with the readiness and eagerness for what lies ahead, and hopefulness too.....and we end our Decembers with the road-weary, tired, heavy feeling of all that we have endured.
What I am wondering as 2012 begins is this: What is so darn magical about the start of a new year?
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| Revelers in Times Square, photo from blogs.babble.com |
Please, enlighten me. I'd love to go back to eagerly anticipating all of the good things that lie ahead in the next 12 months, but right now, I'm just not in that space. It seems like, as I look back on each of the last several years, there have been health issues, family dramas, financial stresses, career issues, you name it, it's there. And does anyone really keep their new year's resolutions? Be honest....do you even remember them by June?
Of course, plenty of positive things have happened for our family each year too, I'm certainly not denying that, and I do acknowledge and celebrate them. I'm just asking myself why it is that I expect each new year's 365 days to be magically different just because it's January 1. I honestly don't know.
My examination of this issue goes beyond mere curiosity. Actually, as I've begun to think about this, I have started to wonder whether all the artificial optimism of a new year actually sets us up for disappointment. Perhaps it's not just the events of the new year that seem to weigh us down when we look back on them; perhaps it's the significance we attach to the new year that gets to us because we've started off with unrealistic expectations to which the reality of life doesn't always measure up.
So I'm thinking that maybe I should not place any special emphasis on the fact that it's now 2012 and just go about my life as I always would. Then maybe by the time December rolls around again, I won't feel like I've somehow let myself down (or the crappy year has let me down - how dare it!) if things haven't been as amazing and wonderful as I think they're going to be.
Who knows, perhaps they'll be better than I could've thought simply because I didn't start out with resolutions and false hopes.
What do you think? How do you feel about the start of a new year? Discuss. Oh yeah, and Happy New Year.
Every morning of 2012 you get to wake up and kiss Heidi , get a hug and lovin from Pie .. and know what an amazing impact you are in your families life. That your an amazing parent and role model to everyone you befriend and beyond. Thats a start of things to look forward to in 2012 ..
ReplyDeleteThanks, I needed that. :) I do try to stay positive, it's just felt like a challenge lately. But I'm working on it!
ReplyDeleteI recently got an idea from a small discussion group I'm part of at my church that might help with this. Well at least I'm hoping it will help me with this. Every night before I go to sleep, I write down one thing, or two or three if i have the time and energy, but at least one thing, that was good about the day. Here's why I thought I'd give it a try - the stuff that's hard or disappointing are usually things that shift our reality more and so our brains are better able to recall them readily, but the good stuff are things that reinforce our expectations about the day, the world, the year and so they don't come to mind as readily, say on any given Dec. 31. Hence, a record of 365+ things (give or take) that were awesome about my days versus the negative things I readily remember would be a more fair way to balance the year when looking back on it. Admittedly someone who shared about this exercise did note that in her experience there were definitely days where the best thing she could think of about it was that it was over.
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