A Different Kind of Epidemic

I recently read an article containing harrowing statistics about child abuse in this country.  Somehow, among the headlines about politics and primaries, financial crises and international issues, this caught my eye.

And it got me thinking.

There are so many "wars" we have going - the war on drugs, the war on poverty, etc. - why isn't anybody declaring a figurative "war" on child abuse? Why aren't we just as appalled by this phenomenon - if not more - as we are about childhood illness and obesity, for example?

The Pie, 2 months old

The article is based on a new study based on data from 2006.  In that year alone, almost 4,600 children were hospitalized for injuries caused by abuse, ranging from burns to broken bones to traumatic brain injury.  The age group of children most impacted were babies under one year old. Babies.

I simply cannot fathom hurting a little baby. When I think of how precious and fragile Anna seemed, and how she completely depended on us for everything, I just cannot imagine ever doing anything to hurt her.  It makes me sick to think of what these most vulnerable little human beings go through and that they could suffer at the hands of the adults who are supposed to love and care for them.

When my baby was a baby

It breaks my heart.

Based on the statistics about babies, the researchers concluded that child abuse posed a bigger threat to babies than SIDS, which we also hear a lot about. In fact, Dr. John Leventhal, who headed the study, noted that there is a national campaign to raise awareness about SIDS, and that something of that scope must be done to combat child abuse.  I couldn't agree more.

The article also discussed another study based on statistics from four states that revealed a spike in brain injuries related to abuse after widespread financial problems struck in 2007. Clearly, the message is that stress not only affects our parenting - but it can be dangerous to our children as well.

We read so much in the media about health issues that are dangerous for kids. In particular, I have read a lot lately about childhood obesity and the problems those kids are apt to develop later in life. Of course this is a major problem. Of course something must be done. Of course that is not good for kids.

But why aren't we as appalled about rising numbers of traumatic brain injuries in kids as we are about unhealthy school lunches?  Seriously.

As usual, I'm not writing because I have a magic answer. I'm writing because I want to put these issues out there for people to think about, and to raise awareness that something ought to be done.

We all experience stress. We all take that out in one way or another on those we love, including our kids. I include myself in that "we." I always feel like a failure when I am frustrated with Anna or lose my temper, especially if it has more to do with what's going on with me than with her behavior.

But I know one thing for sure - I would never hit her, nor do I believe in spanking. (Obviously I recognize that there are people who discipline this way - in fact, I recently read that 4 out of 5 parents do. But because I am talking about severe child abuse and traumatic injuries, methods of discipline and spanking are different topics that I'll leave for another day.)

Anyway - I'm not mad at Anna when she cries. That's just what kids do. To people who can't stand it, I say - deal with it. It sucks, but you can handle it. On the other hand, your child can't handle your anger.

A grumpy baby is still a loveable baby :)

Stress is a fact of life.  But we have to learn how to effectively manage that stress so that our children don't suffer or get hurt. We need to find coping strategies to help us deal with the pressures of life in a way that doesn't endanger our kids.

What will help? Parenting classes, maybe?  Support groups or online discussion forums? Perhaps. Venting to other parents so you know you're not alone is great. Our friends and loved ones can support us when we're stressed. If you feel overwhelmed, take advantage of those resources. If you know someone who's feeling too overwhelmed, help them take advantage of those resources. If neither applies to you, just be aware. Sometimes that's all we can do - be aware, and help others be aware.  Our kids depend on it.