Seeing Is Believing?

I came across something yesterday about imparting religious or spiritual beliefs to our kids that really resonated with me.  As many of you know, I follow the blog "Single Dad Laughing" (SDL).  Well, yesterday, he posted an excerpt from his book, The Real Dad Rules, about how to share our beliefs with our kids. His thesis is that you shouldn't teach your kids what to believe - you should teach them how to believe.

I discussed this issue when we were examining Robert Epstein's article about what makes a good parent, and his top 10 areas of parental competency, which included religion. I discussed why I disagreed with that in the post, "Losing My Religion," but I also shared a viewpoint similar to SDL's. If you haven't had a chance to check out that post, please do.

My post's focus was a little bit different in that I spent some time discussing why I think organized religion can be harmful and why there are other mechanisms for teaching our kids to be good, moral people. But I did also discuss the importance of encouraging our kids to think for themselves and to reach their own conclusions, because that's far more meaningful than telling them what to think. Too much indoctrination automatically encourages some kind of rebellion.

In short, I agree with SDL that the best way to impact your child's belief system is to live out your own beliefs, so he or she can see the impact of them in your daily life.  This is sort of the "seeing is believing" approach, which I know is ironic because many religions focus on believing in that which you cannot see.

"The Mystery"

  

However, I like this analogy in terms of how to show our kids what we believe.  This echoes my message in my earlier post, which was that in my view, it's more important to go out and live according to your beliefs rather than to sit in a pew every Sunday and listen to people talk about them.

This isn't to say that you shouldn't discuss your religious views with your kids; of course, that is a good thing to do. But what you shouldn't do is attempt to force those views on your child. I agree with SDL that it is more powerful for your kids to watch your actions and learn from them than to be told what to do, and that the former approach is more likely to cause your kids to believe what you do. If they can see what your beliefs mean to you, and how they have sustained you, that is so much more powerful than a verbal lesson.

In any event, it's an interesting piece. Please take a moment to read it, and to read my earlier post, and tell us what you think!