It’s that time of year again, folks: it’s almost Halloween. I’ve always enjoyed this holiday, whether I was
dressing up when I was younger, handing out candy to cute kids as I got older,
or even going to grown-up Halloween parties with Heidi and our friends in more
recent years.
But, as is true of so many things, having a kid to dress up
for Halloween changes one’s perspective a bit.
Now that I have a little one to buy costumes for, I notice
little kids’ costumes whenever I look at Halloween displays. And frankly, all too often, I’m horrified at
what’s out there.
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| Photo from merchantcircle.com |
See, when I was a kid, back in the Dark Ages, costumes were
a lot simpler. And I walked five miles to school in the snow with a stack of
books. But I digress.
I don’t remember all of my costumes, but I do remember that
many of them involved some plastic thing you’d drape over your body so people
would know what you were dressing as, and then there would be a plastic face
mask with eye and mouth holes that fastened around your head with what felt
like a rubber band. My “Casper the
Friendly Ghost” costume springs to mind.
I was also a baseball player, a few other cartoon
characters, a ghost, a hobo, and even Tammy Faye Bakker. That one was inspired by my mom’s t-shirt,
which read: “I ran into Tammy Faye at the mall” and had a bunch of smeared
colors on it in joking reference to her caked-on makeup. I wore the shirt, maybe
a wig, and a ton of makeup – simple, funny, easy.
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| Anna-bee, Halloween 2009 (age 1) |
One thing was always true, though: no matter what I wore, I was always appropriately clothed.
Anna’s first real Halloween costume was a bumble bee and she was absolutely adorable. (When she was 1 month old, we dressed her in a pumpkin onesie with a hat, but I don’t count that.) Our sweet little bee helped me hand out candy and discovered for the first time that chocolate is really good.
Anna’s first real Halloween costume was a bumble bee and she was absolutely adorable. (When she was 1 month old, we dressed her in a pumpkin onesie with a hat, but I don’t count that.) Our sweet little bee helped me hand out candy and discovered for the first time that chocolate is really good.
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| Anna as Kermit the Frog, 2010 (age 2) |
Last year was her first trick-or-treating experience with us
and her friend Izzy B (you may remember her as Kitty EyE). Anna dressed as Kermit
the Frog and Izzy taught her how to knock on doors and say “Trick or treat!” and “Happy
Halloween!” We had a great time. And the
bonus for us was that Anna didn’t really understand how much candy she had, so
we got a lot of it and she still felt like there was a ton.
We won’t get away with that this year, though!
So, in a couple of weeks, Anna will be going door to door once
again, dressed as Ord from Dragon Tales. And one thing will always be true for
her during the Halloweens of her childhood: she will always be appropriately clothed.
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| Ord, photo from nunu.pbs.org |
I had to score the Ord costume on eBay because they are so
hard to find. But I have recently been to Wal-Mart for other things and have
been disgusted by some of the available costumes I saw for little girls. So I decided
to look around online and see whether these were isolated things.
Predictably, they’re not.
For example, on Wal-Mart’s website, there’s the “Queen of
Sheba” costume, which features a little girl with (almost see-through) pantaloons, a veil, a headpiece, castanets, and a completely bare torso all the way to just below the bellybutton. The sizes start as small as 4-6…which means
Anna could fit into this. That’s pretty sad. I couldn’t get the photo to copy,
but check it out here.
Here’s a similarly risque girls' genie costume I found online:
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| From costumeexpress.com |
If you go to the Wal-Mart link to see the Sheba costume, scroll
down to “people who viewed this also viewed…” and take a look at what’s there. Most
of the things that popped up for me involved some pretty short skirts for girls
of any age.
It hadn’t even occurred to me that the Queen of Sheba would
be an option for a child’s Halloween costume. So I decided to Google “images –
Queen of Sheba girl Halloween costume” and was dismayed by what I found. One of
them even came with a “professional belly dancing coin.”
Excuse me, what?!
There’s no way in hell I’m letting my little girl go out
door to door dressed like a belly dancer. Period. But plenty of people must, or
the costume wouldn’t be out there as an option.
Then there were a set of costumes from “Monster High,”
whatever that is, all of which were, for lack of a better term, kind of slutty.
They all involve super short skirts with the child models in vaguely suggestive
poses.
What about boys’ costumes, you may ask? Well, most of them cover the boys head to
toe, whether they’re Darth Vader, Batman, knights, Ninja Turtles, you name it.
It’s hard to find similarly inappropriate costumes for boys. The only one I found in my brief search
involved its subject matter, not its skimpiness:
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| From huffingtonpost.com |
That’s right folks, he’s a pimp. Good to see our little guys becoming
enterprising businessmen so early!
So now comes the point where I want to hear from YOU. Am I way off-base? Am I perhaps taking this too seriously? …..Or
do I have a reason to be disturbed about what’s being marketed to little kids,
especially girls, at Halloween?
I’m not very conservative about many things, and I realize Anna
won’t always be wearing stuff that covers her from head to toe. I simply believe that it’s completely
unnecessary for little girls’ bodies to be exposed this way, especially in a
day and age where women’s bodies are sometimes valued more than their minds,
and where child predators abound.
Please share your thoughts!
Love the title! Your memory of the plastic drapery and mask brought me back to my Strawberry Shortcake costume. Yes, I recall costumes being much simpler back in the 80's.
ReplyDeleteIt is appalling what some of these little girls are wearing and what their parents will allow them to wear. I worry about the preteen girls walking around the neighborhoods with their skimpy little outfits. Who knows who is also prowling the streets? On Halloween, anyone can dress up, be anonymous, and it's hard to tell who is suspicious. I do worry about their safety. Luckily, I haven't heard of anything terrible happening in our neighborhood.
As far as the boys go, parents must be so proud when their son states, "I want to be a pimp this year!" Even though boys aren't as subject to the exploitation of costumes, I have had older boys come to our house trick-or-treating dressed as murderers, serial killers, disgusting bloody things, and some can be downright creepy and scary. I love Halloween and I love scary movies and haunted houses, but there is a big difference, to me, when it's standing on your porch. I even had one boy threaten to come back and kill me if I didn't give him any candy, only because he and his buddies rang the doorbell and stood there with their pillow cases open. I waited patiently for the obilgatory "Trick or Treat," which they didn't say. They expected me to just drop the candy in their bags as soon as I opened the door. I don't play that way, I hate that sense of entitlement. I asked, "What do you say?" Then the one said to give them the candy or he would come back and kill me. I said, "Ok, buh-bye," and closed the door.
Well, I have sort of a mixed opinion here, given that Ryan is now 7 years old, and I think I understand her perspective a little more, and what is attracting her to these costumes. First, I just need to say that the Monster High dolls will never find a home in my daughter's playroom. However, I do understand the appeal they have to children. The dolls are marketed extremely well; bright colors; different hair colors; cool boots; etc. Ry has seen them everywhere, and is equally interested in the 'plush' form of the dolls, which sport the same outfit, but appear less 'sexy' on stuffed dolls.
ReplyDeleteI honestly think that this is a change in societal perspective, that makes us look at these outfits/costumes as 'sexy' or 'slutty' or 'trampy'. When I was a child, 7 years old, I spent a lot of time running around only in my underwear. I took baths with multiple cousins until I was probably 10. When finding ourselves on a drive by the lake, I remember my grandmother letting us all strip down to our undies to go swimming. None of these were considered inappropriate or sexual, even when faced with people outside of our family. Why? Well, because the bare belly of a child was not considered to 'sexual'. Seeing the belly button of a 10 year old did not stir up all sorts of sexually inapproriate images. However, now, when we see the belly button of a 10 year old, we think of a sexually inappropriate image. I think that the sexy-dress trend has been captured by the teenage population, leveraged by the media, musicians, song lyrics, actresses, teen idols, etc. In recent times, these ideas/perspectives has been captured by the 'tween' population. And now, only out of what is presented to them, and not smeared with any sexual inuendos, younger children are attracted to the same dress style as older peers....just as we were when we were younger.
When I look at this through Ryan's eyes, they eyes of a 7 year old little girl, I see her attraction to a fashionable way of dress; admiration of teenage stars, favorite musicians, etc. She does not see a bare leg as 'sexy'. She can wear a bikini...completely comfortable in her own skin; no sense of sexual undertones, but is just the perfect age for her to feel fabulous. Old enough to understand her own beauty, but too young to criticize or feel ashamed of her little gut that sticks out over her bottoms.
When confronted with Halloween costumes, I find that I am long past the days of Dorothy and princesses. While I agree that some of the costumes marketed to Ryan appear 'slutty' when I look at them, if worn by my little girl, that image disappears. I can't look at my little girl, only 7 years old, with no understanding of 'slutty' or 'trampy' means; a girl completely in love with pink fishneck tights because they are so neat...or even in love with the costume of a genie, or a belly dancer, because in her innocence, a bare belly button does not mean sexy...or worse.
And while Ryan has not ever choosen a more risky costume, if she does, I would hope that I could look at her selection through the eyes of a child, and base my decision on that. Really, in my world, the bare skin would eventually be covered...not because of the sex appeal....but because it will be too cold!
Rambling...rambling...blah...blah....blah! :)
This is a tough one. You've really made me think! It's so true that this sort of thing would've seemed a lot more innocent when we were kids. It feels like a lot of things were more innocent then - like pop music, where the sexual innuendo was a lot less blunt than it is today.
ReplyDeleteI haven't thought about it from a kid's perspective, which is interesting. I think you're right that a lot of kids, like Ryan, just like this stuff because it's fun to dress up and feel pretty, so they view it a lot differently than an adult might. In that sense, I wish it could be viewed more innocently.
But I do know some elementary school aged girls who use the term "sexy" to describe their clothes or dancing, and that just makes me sad. As you said, that's largely due to media and the "tween" stuff making girls want to look like little adults. I wish those girls could feel proud of their bodies, and feel comfortable in their own skin, without feeling the need to exploit it or feel "sexy." Some kids just grow up too fast, which I think is the concern I have about costumes here, that they are marketed to look too much like adult costumes.
I think the Jon Benet Ramsey case and shows like Toddlers & Tiaras have contributed to this idea of young girls being too sexualized too soon....Jon Benet because she fell victim to a predator, and the pageant shows because they make us think of the adult pageant contestants.
Reading your comment really made me wish I didn't view things this way. I certainly don't want Anna to be ashamed of her body and I think it's hilarious when she runs around the house half-naked, laughing, trying to avoid getting ready for bed. That IS innocent. But it's hard not to worry that scary people out there would view a revealing costume as sexy and I don't want to feel like the way I dress my kid invited unwanted attention either. It's just such a hard issue to navigate! I really liked hearing about your perspective.
I can't believe some kid said that - how awful! Could you tell how old that kid was? Good for you for shutting the door.
ReplyDeleteInteresting point about the boys' costumes too - they go right along with the toy store aisles with all their toy guns and other weapons. It just feels like girls are pushed in the "pretty" direction and boys are pushed in the "violent" direction, and neither is great if you ask me.
Did you read Patty's comment, above? I was curious what your take on that is...is your daughter close to the age of hers (7)? I don't know whether I will feel differently when Anna is a little older, but it is a good point that a lot of kids don't put the "sexual" stamp on it - we do. That's true.
But what I am wrestling with is, is it then okay to support those interests in our kids as long as they view it the right way, or do we still err on the side of caution and forbid certain things because we're worried about how the scary people will view it? I just don't know.
AMEN! I have not bought an actual "costume" for my girls in at least 2 years and this year isn't any different. I first don't see the point of paying over $15 for an outfit they will only wear in public one time. I would even think twice about any outfit with that price tag sometimes (depending on which kid it is for). We can't find any costumes that are "Maine weather" ready either, I just talk to the girls on what we have in the house and use the things we have. Or we will even go to Goodwill and Salvation Army to find clothes to alter to what we need.
ReplyDeleteSometimes those kinds of costumes are the best! I love going to Goodwill or rummaging around the house to piece my own costumes together - so fun! :) You're right, it's just for 1 day, why go crazy?
ReplyDeleteI liked reading Patty's post above, really made me think about the kid's perspective a bit more. I agree that times seemed more innocent when we were kids, but perhaps our parents viewed it then just as we are today with our own kids.
ReplyDeleteTessa is 5 and is still into princesses, etc. She is going as Rapunzel this year, a tough decision between her and Ariel. :o) I never want Tessa to be ashamed of herself or any part of her body. I am fine with her running around in a bikini at the pool or beach.
PS I think the boy and his friends at my door were late middle / early high school. They all had masks on, so I have no idea whose kids they were.
I love Halloween also; what isn't fun about dressing up as something silly or funny?
ReplyDeleteI have a strict policy with my girls though, no evil costumes, and no revealing costumes. Luckily that hasn't really been an issue.
I usually try to make the costumes or use what we have at home, but this year Ally really wanted to be a giraffe and I looked into making it, and then I found a costume at Marshalls for $20 and thought, it would probably be about that to buy all the supplies to make that. Also my kids LOVE to play dress up at home, so costumes generally get played with for a long time after Halloween, so I figure it's still a value.
Any way, I am glad I am not the only one who thinks kids should be covered up. By the way, don't ever go into one of those Halloween stores with your kids unless you are ready to talk to them about what a prostitute is.
I know!! It's been a few years, probably pre-Anna, since I've been in one but wow, I remember thinking I would not buy my kid a costume at those places. Eek. As it was, Heidi and I had a hard time finding suitable costumes! LOL. Anna loves to play dress-up too. I think it's sad that some parents oppose dressing up for Halloween for religious reasons or whatever. It's just supposed to be silly fun!
ReplyDeleteI'm coming into this discussion a bit late. I have a huge issue with the way that young girls are sexualized. I saw it as a teacher, with kids as young as six wearing t-shirts with inappropriate slogans (I saw a first grader with a t-shirt that said "I only kiss vampires". Who MAKES those in a size 6?!?).
ReplyDeleteI was really surprised at some of the costumes in stores this year. While kids might not see these clothes as "sexy", the people who are designing and marketing obviously understand that there's an undercurrent of sexuality when you make clothing for little girls that are styled after what teens want to wear. Let's face it...adolescence is nothing if not sexually charged. And if something is inappropriate for a 16-year-old, then it's even moreso for a six-year-old.
I don't blame the kids for wanting "sexy" costumes; I do blame the companies that make and market them. A lot of little girls are going to be drawn to pink and glitter and things that look "glamorous". But things can be fun and cute and sparkly and trendy without sexualizing little girls.
I remember those plastic costumes with the terrible masks. We wore them for many Halloweens and then discovered we could MAKE costumes! Like when I was Tom Sawyer. And a gypsy/fortune teller. Brilliant. Raggedy Ann. That was a bad one. We thought we could curl our hair and spray red hair paint but that didnt' work at all. I think my sister was Casper one year! I know she was Apple Dumpling from Strawberry Shortcake once. Those were the days. When everyone was clothed. But we live in New England and it's COLD on Halloween. Ok, not usually cold enough for snow like we're getting now in New England,but cold nonetheless. Many a Halloween was spent walking in coats and then giving them to the parent who was going with us and running to the door in our costumes and then running back to our coats.
ReplyDeleteOh I feel the SAME WAY. With 2 little girls, I'm constantly amazed (AMAZED!) at the smut in the costume aisle.
ReplyDeleteMy five year old had to dress up as a police officer for a school project. We had to walk past far too many "suggestive cop" costumes until we got to a REAL cop costume. Groan.
Thanks for linking up with #ShowYourWork! Can't wait to see Halloween pics of your cutie!
Exactly. Excellent points! There's nothing wrong with kids wanting to be pretty but that doesn't have to mean revealing. And I too cannot believe some of the slogans are on shirts made for kids so small. What scares me is that some adults are obviously buying them for their kids - what are they thinking?!
ReplyDeleteThose costumes bring back memories! They all sound like great costume ideas. What has happened since we were kids?? We deal with cold Halloweens too so we gravitate toward warm costume choices - another handy excuse to steer the kiddo away from inappropriate costumes. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for the opportunity! And it's pretty sad that our kids have to see that stuff as we try to pick out costumes for them. It doesn't stop with Halloween either....sigh. At least I enjoy the comments from everyone so I know there are a lot of like-minded moms out there!
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