Article: What Makes a Good Parent?

I ran across an article the other day in Scientific American Mind by Robert Epstein, a longtime researcher and professor of psychology, which summarized a research study on what parenting practices produce better results than others - that is, practices that produce better relationships between parent and child and happier, healthier, and better functioning children.

The studies also sought to answer "why, in fact, do most parents continue to parent pretty much the way their own parents did - or, if they disliked the way they were raised, the exact opposite way?"

I thought this article might be interesting to share, especially after the recent blog posts here about Parenting Styles and The Wrong Signals.

Unfortunately, the article is no longer available online in its entirety but you can purchase the issue which contains the article.

According to the article, here are the 10 competencies that predict good parenting outcomes, listed in order from most to least important.  The skills were ranked based on how well they predict a strong parent-child bond and children's happiness, health and success.

1. Love and Affection - You support and accept the child, are physically affectionate, and spend quality one-on-one time together.
2. Stress Management - You take the steps to reduce stress for yourself and your child, practice relaxation techniques and promote positive interpretations of events.
3. Relationship Skills - You maintain a healthy relationship with your spouse, significant other or co-parent and model effective relationship skills with other people.
4. Autonomy and Independence - You treat your child with respect and encourage him or her to become self-sufficient and self-reliant.
5. Education and Learning - You promote and model learning and provide educational opportunities for your child.
6. Life Skills - You provide for your child, have a steady income and plan for the future.
7. Behavior Management - You make extensive use of positive reinforcement and punish only when other methods of managing behavior have failed.
8. Health - You model a healthy lifestyle and good habits, such as regular exercise and proper nutrition, for your child.
9. Religion - You support spiritual or religious development and participate in spiritual or religious activities.
10. Safety - You take precautions to protect your child and maintain awareness of the child's activities and friends.

So, what do you think of this list, and the ranking from most to least important?  Please let us know in the comment section below.

[Editor's Note: The links in the list above go to blog posts where we explore each of the 10 areas!  Also, check out our Poll on the subject, then our Poll Results and Summary.]