It was Friday afternoon, around 3:30. I had been gone all morning for Kelsey’s honors program orientation at college.
Anna and I sat in the waiting room while the “car guy” was changing my oil and looking into an issue with my check engine light. Normally, this would be sheer playtime with Anna, but noooo. Not this time.
My laptop sat open on the table next to magazines and children’s books. It was my day off, but some expert witness materials needed to be filed in federal court. Thankfully, that can be done anywhere, anytime, thanks to online filing. As always, I had prepared them in advance. We were just waiting on a key report from our expert.
Predictably, it arrived late in the afternoon on the date due….something that unfortunately comes with the territory when you’re coordinating with out of state attorneys and doctors. All of the advanced preparation in the world doesn’t matter when other people on whom you’re depending aren’t also ready in advance.
So I sat waiting for my mechanic, trying to entertain Anna, ignoring my phone vibrating beside me, and waiting for my ridiculously large documents to upload to the federal court server, when I heard these words: “Mommy, I’m pooping.”
Seriously? It was the perfect storm of frustrating events. Especially given that Anna had on underwear and not a diaper. I wanted to pull out what little hair I have.
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| Photo credit: iphonasia.com |
It drives me nuts when things converge at once like this, thwarting my best efforts at planning. And I don’t mean Anna’s accident – I am always patient when it comes to that because I know it will happen and I’m just so grateful she’s finally using the potty the majority of the time.
What frustrated me was the invasion of work tasks that could have – and should have – been taken care of earlier. After all, Friday is Anna’s time. I pretty much always have to use at least part of it for errands, but we manage to make it fun together. And I try so hard to avoid being overwhelmed with all this crap at once, but not everyone makes the same effort.
In the frantic pace of today’s world, we all have a lot to juggle. There’s really no way around it. I used to pride myself on being able to handle a number of things at once, even going back to high school, when I simultaneously listened to the teacher and took notes in class, wrote notes to friends, and did homework for another class. And got straight As, without breaking a sweat.
I never put off until the last minute what could be done at the same time as something else because that just seemed foolish. I suppose achieving some measure of success made me feel that I would always be similarly invincible.
As it turns out…..not so much.
Hmm, maybe there’s a reason that the “scales of justice” are the universal symbol for the legal profession. Except in real life, they’re very rarely evenly aligned.
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| Photo credit: ux.brookdalecc.edu |
Being a lawyer, and now being a lawyer AND a parent, has taught me that either our challenges increase with time, making multitasking harder, or we just get older and more tired and therefore feel less capable of handling them.
I’m not sure which it is, but I felt a little insane as my roles of parent, lawyer and errand runner collided on Friday. I had to step back and take a few deep breaths….after dealing with our poop emergency, of course. Some retail therapy and Thai takeout provided by my honey helped to alleviate the stress.
But there will always be a next time. What will overwhelm me then? How will I handle it? I’d better figure out some coping strategies sooner rather than later. How do YOU cope with multiple stressors at once? Do other parents out there feel that multitasking only gets harder? I’d love to hear from you in the comments.
As a parent now of two twenty somethings I look back on those early years as more of a physical feat (having my first at 37). I remember well though, trying to balance being parent, teacher, therapist, partner. The multi-tasking continues in my life and sometimes being parent at a distance (one in Boston, one in Los Angeles)Taking deep breaths helps and your ability to assess is great. Be in the present as much as you can and the little child shall lead us.
ReplyDeleteIt is sort of intimidating to me that you don't lose it when something like that happens. I was born with a short fuse, and while I try to reign in my instant frustrations, when I am overwhelmed it seems to be impossible to do that. Overwhelmed is the key word, and that just comes naturally with my life, not because of bad choices or even procrastination, just normal life for my family. Some days are easier than others of course, and I always try to remember, "this too shall pass" because it is true. Even when I have 5 crazy kids at my house, tons of work to do and my dog decides now is the time to throw up in the kitchen, I try to remember, tomorrow it will not be like this, I can look forward to that!
ReplyDeleteI do feel the same way. On this particular occasion, I lost it on the inside. LOL. I was in a public place and so maybe that helped prevent me from yelling not-nice things! (Not at Anna or anything, but just generally venting because I was overwhelmed.) I'm also comforted by the fact that it will get better -in the larger scheme, things will get easier with time, but even on an every day level, the stress always passes. So I just breathe....
ReplyDeleteI need to get back into yoga/meditation mode, but I at least try hard to employ the things I learned in those classes about keeping myself calm and trying not to let frustration get the best of me. I know everyone has an array of challenges too, so I try not to let mine overwhelm me! :) But sometimes, it feels like I am required to be "superwoman" and I am just not!
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