Sounds like a fairy tale is getting ready to start, doesn’t
it? Hardly.
As I discussed yesterday, we’ve entered the “terrible 3s”
with a vengeance. When I picked Anna up
from school yesterday, and she was SO happy to see me, I thought perhaps I’d
overreacted in my “terrible 3s” post.
And then there was the Ord incident.
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| Ord flying with Max from "Dragon Tales" |
For those of you not fortunate enough to watch about 6
episodes of the show “Dragon Tales” per day, Ord is the lovable, big blue
dragon in the series, who’s sweet and cuddly and often scared. I confess that
this is one series I actually enjoy, and Ord is my favorite character.
The only problem with this being one of Anna’s current
favorite shows is that acquiring “Dragon Tales” merchandise, such as movies, books,
and snuggly friends, is a bit challenging because the show went off the air
several years ago. (Thank goodness for Netflix!)
However, shopaholics like me don’t give up that easily.
As a result, I’ve recently acquired a slight eBay
addiction. It’s the perfect place to
find “Dragon Tales” stuff….and lots of other stuff, such as clothes, that I really
don’t need that badly, but really want. *Ahem.*
But I digress.
I was so proud of myself that not only did I win Quetzal the
stuffed dragon (who happens to be Anna’s favorite) in an auction for about $60 less than the ridiculous price others
were offering if you “buy it now,” but I also (with her approval) scored her an
Ord Halloween costume. Then, for only
$8, I got a stuffed Ord who talks and whose dragon badge lights up when you
press his hand.
Not too shabby!
I decided to save Quetzal for Christmas (along with a few
other things I bought that I won’t even list so as not to sound too pathetic),
but to give her Ord now to get her excited for Halloween. And she loved him! She was so excited….for a
couple of hours.
But, by bed time, she wanted to throw him across the room
and then informed me, through sniffles and tears, that she didn’t want him and I
should send him back.
What?!
Then, when I told her that because of the way I bought him, I
couldn’t send him back, that sent her into a fit of hysterics.
“NOOOOOOO!” she cried repeatedly as I engaged in a nearly
futile attempt to get her pajamas on.
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| Photo from www.illustrationsource.com |
Finally, she exhausted herself and decided to lie down, with
Ord lying next to me and not her. I told her I would be glad to keep Ord for my
snuggly friend if she doesn’t want him, but he’s here to stay.
Of course, by this morning, Anna had decided to take Ord to
school to introduce him to her friends and to be her nap time snuggly. Whew. At least she likes him again…..for now.
What I don’t understand about this is that Anna loves this show and its characters, and
this is a present she should be – and was, for a time – really excited about,
so her reaction doesn’t seem to fit. I can understand wanting to fuss about
some things, like vegetables or baths or bed time, but not about the things a child
loves. Why the heck would she say “no” to
something fun?
So, I spent the rest of the evening both mystified and
disappointed….after all, it wasn’t like I just drove to Toys R Us for a stuffed
dragon. I put a lot of effort into the
search and into choosing something Anna would be thrilled to have. And I paid
for shipping. And he’s not returnable.
I suppose this fits with the description of her birthday
party that I provided in yesterday’s post. You know, not wanting presents or
cake or friends to play with….which is ridiculous, because I know it’s not really
true. Just like this. Hmm. It’s funny how the obvious stressors don’t
bother me because I expect them, but when something unexpected like this
happens, I don’t know what to make of it.
What I’d love to know from you wonderful readers is this:
are you too entering the “Kingdom of No” with your toddlers? If so, why in the world are we here and when do we get to leave??
This reminds me of when we were in the Gap and she spotted that Elephant stuffed animal.
ReplyDeleteFor those readers that don't know the story, which would be everyone except me and Mama T... LOL
We went into the Gap to look at clothes for Anna when she spotted this stuffed Elephant. We had told Anna that we would be going to a Toy Store later and were going to get her something if she was well behaved. She carried the Elephant around the store and let us browse in peace. When we were ready to leave, she wanted us to buy the elephant.
The price was a little steep and since we were going to the Toy Store after lunch (which we knew would have lots of elephants at reasonable prices), we tried to reason with her into letting go of this elephant and searching for others at the toy store after lunch.
Finally, after lots of "No!"s and lots of positive reinforcements (and a period of pretending to ignore her tantrum), we eventually got her out of the store without the elephant.
After a lunch with her pouty face, we went to the Toy Store. She quickly perked up and enjoyed looking at everything, including stuffed Elephants that were bigger and better than the one at the Gap.
I can't remember what happened next, except that while Anna wasn't looking I purchased a stuffed elephant (that rivaled the one at the Gap, and was less expensive) that in the store she really loved.
But when I gave it to her in the car when we were leaving, she just took it and hugged it but wasn't at all excited about it.
I guess the bottom line is after she got what she had a melt down about (well, not exactly the same thing, but I think she liked this one better) she wasn't that happy about it.
So I guess my point is this - sometimes you just cannot reason with a toddler, and even when they get what they want, they aren't satisfied.... proving, in my opinion that the tantrum in the store about getting the elephant has nothing to do with her wanting an "elephant", the tantrum was about her getting her way, when she wanted it.
Does that make sense?
It makes perfect sense because the exact same thing was going on here. While I don't know why (other than perhaps being tired) she wanted to throw Ord in the first place, the real meltdown was triggered by my taking him and putting him out of reach and telling her she couldn't do that. So this too was about getting her way. It's hard, but I'm trying to stand my ground even when giving in would stave off a tantrum. She just can't always have it her way. And I should be compassionate and remember that that sucks, because I struggle with the same thing still. LOL.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reminding me of that day - we did have fun! And you should know that Horton the elephant is often her nap time buddy at school. She has taken him for show and tell too and mentioned that Uncle Keith got him for her. :)
I never thought of it that way - and what you're saying makes perfect sense! It's so true that the happiness and newness and excitement of things can wear off quickly, and that if you're a kid with only basic ability to understand or express your feelings, they will come out this way. I also had not thought of how Anna's internal feelings about whether something makes her happy might be different than what I expect. Even though I know her so well, you can never truly and completely know what's going on in somebody's head. Thanks for making me think about this in a new way!
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