I’m sure most, if not all of you, have heard about Adam Mansbach’s new book, Go The F*** To Sleep
, which was recently read by Samuel L. Jackson on CollegeHumor.com. Mansbach wrote the book to parody children’s books, and to humorously describe the internal frustration that parents face when their child resists sleep. I know we’ve all been there.
, which was recently read by Samuel L. Jackson on CollegeHumor.com. Mansbach wrote the book to parody children’s books, and to humorously describe the internal frustration that parents face when their child resists sleep. I know we’ve all been there.However, as a book with this title naturally would, it has stirred up controversy. There is widespread support for the book as a way for parents to blow off steam by laughing at something that can be really frustrating. Supporters say that most of us think the things that the book narrates when our kids employ sleep-delaying tactics, even though we certainly would never say them aloud. Clearly, while it is illustrated like a children’s book, the book is not meant to be read to children.
But, the opposite view acknowledges that, unfortunately, there ARE parents who say these things aloud, parents who curse at and yell at their children when they get frustrated – and there certainly is nothing funny about that. People with this viewpoint explain that these parents are not the kind of loving parents who read to their kids at night and internalize their frustration, no matter how aggravating the bedtime routine may become. The book’s detractors view it as a sad reflection of reality for those children who come from verbally and/or physically abusive homes, who literally are threatened and told to “go the [bleep] to sleep.”
Below, I have pasted links to two articles from CNN.com, reflecting these opposite viewpoints about this bestseller. I want to know what YOU think about this! So, please comment and let us know.
Positive portrayal of book: Bedtime story: Go the bleep to sleep
Negative portrayal: "Go the F*** to Sleep" not funny
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| Anna and Cookie Monster, fast asleep. |
I thought it was awesome! As a mother of two and a grandmother of one, I feel like I have been fighting for the last 24 years to get a child to go sleep. I agree that loving parents who read to their children every night before bed are probably not the kind to swear at them.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter is doing a great job with my grandson. She set the rules early and has stuck by them. He has a routine of washing up, brushing his teeth, and gathering his favorite blanket and stuffed animals. He picks 1 book. She reads it, gives him a hug and a kiss, says goodnight and walks out of the room. He cries every time for a few minutes and then stops on his own and goes to sleep. When I stayed with him while she went away fro her anniversary, I followed the same routine - with the same results. It was great!!
i find it absolutely disgusting. our children are not to be mocked, made fun of, or demeaned. if a baby cant/wont/doesnt sleep at night then the parents need to adapt. we only get the first five years of our childrens life to set a foundation for their emotional well being, sensitivity training, and how to cope when things arent "perfect" once some of that damage has been done it cant be undone. best thing i can tell you parents who think this book is "funny".......use birth control.
ReplyDeleteI just read the CNN article against the book. I think it is the most oversensitive ridiculous article I've ever read, and like the attorney in the article, I too work with abused children for a living. I think a book which is intended to make parents feel better about their normal natural frustration in a culture that expects perfection in parenting is wonderful.The stigma attached to asking for parenting help and admitting we are not perfect parents is the biggest danger to kids. This book makes people feel ok about their normal feelings. The article against it just reenforces the unrealistic expectation that we never have negative feelings toward our kids, which makes struggling parents hesitant to speak up and say, "I'm frustrated with my kid and need help finding a healthy way to deal with it."
ReplyDeleteI just read the CNN article against the book. I think it is the most oversensitive ridiculous article I've ever read, and like the attorney in the article, I too work with abused children for a living. I think a book which is intended to make parents feel better about their normal natural frustration in a culture that expects perfection in parenting is wonderful.The stigma attached to asking for parenting help and admitting we are not perfect parents is the biggest danger to kids. This book makes people feel ok about their normal feelings. The article against it just reenforces the unrealistic expectation that we never have negative feelings toward our kids, which makes struggling parents hesitant to speak up and say, "I'm frustrated with my kid and need help finding a healthy way to deal with it."
ReplyDeleteI agree, Molly. It's definitely more dangerous for parents to think there's something wrong with them because they do not feel all gushy and in love when it's three o'clock in the morning and a child will not sleep than for a parent to knowthey are not alone and it is ok to be frustrated. The message of the campaign to prevent shaken baby syndrome is not you just need to be a better parent and love your child more (and it's definitely not maybe you should have taken more birth control...) It's, put the baby down. It's ok to let him cry. Give yourself a break.
ReplyDeleteAs with most things, I see points on both sides. However, my first reaction to this book was laughter. Sometimes we need to laugh at sucky situations.
ReplyDeletespeaking as a parent who has lost a child..... i would give anything to rock them at 3am. its obviously okay to find humor ......but when they are 16 and want to sleep all day......thats when you laugh and say....why couldnt you ahve done that at 2? annnnd i never slept at night........ my mom never shook me and i am pretty sure wouldnt have bought this book. she traded in her luxuries, her professional job and stayed home with me til i was 6. i am glad i have her as a role model and i am glad i have healthy coping skills.
ReplyDeleteI DIED laughing when I read a passage from it.
ReplyDeleteI said that I think the book is hilarious......me, the mother of 4 well-adjusted children. Though I do use birth control now, thanks! ;) The book is comedy and not intended as parental advice or to be read to kids. If you don't like it, then don't buy it. Simple enough, eh?
ReplyDeletei retract my birth control statement. that wa sprobably inappropriate. it was meant to imply that it goes with parenting....the whole up all night business......with that said......i still have a hard time laughing when i know that there are babies in the world that DO get spoken to like this. thats all. sorry if i offended anyone.....sometimes i am good at that.
ReplyDeleteI'm not offended. I've got a pretty thick skin. :) It IS sad that there are kids out there that do get spoken to like that, but that is not what this book is about. This book has nothing to do with that. We all know that lack of sleep is a part of parenting, but we still get frustrated when our kid is up for the millionth time for no reason and we're trying to sleep ourselves, or get something done, or have alone time or whatever. Parents need their own time in order to be good parents.
ReplyDeletei completely understand what the book is about, who it is for, and so on and so on........ maybe i am alone on top of my white tower....i just have never once thought "would you just go the f*** to sleep". with that said i have thought i wished her bedroom wasnt thirty stairs away....... i have thought why the f*** didnt i put the nursery downstairs?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, that is natural and we shouldn't be ashamed of having problems sometimes, and we definitely need to blow off steam. However, I think the book goes beyond that with the angry profanity, so even though I wrote the post kind of in the middle, my views after seeing it are more like Amy's. I know it's supposed to be a joke but it's a valid point that this is reality for a LOT of kids. This time when they are young is so critical - I have seen what happens if kids don't get that loving, nurturing environment from the start, and it sucks. I should note that my perspective is probably colored by awful bedtime experiences I have witnessed where kids are scared and the parent is furious and yelling, etc. It's awful. How can parents expect kids to settle down and go to sleep like that, unless they do it from abject fear? .... I laughed when the guy said "it's been 38 minutes" - that's nothing to me! It takes between an hour and 2 each night to get Anna to sleep, from storytime to sleep. I'm not kidding. I have tried leaving the room and she freaks out, and I'm simply not ok with that. I didn't start encouraging that independence when she was young enough, and she has issues that I suspect are unique to her that make settling her body down very difficult. There are times when I want to be able to hang out with Heidi, or check my blog, or read or play games and I just pass out from exhaustion right along with Anna. That's not always easy. But I am always there to sing to her, hold her and give her that security. (more coming)
ReplyDeleteI know what it's like to be super scared at night, which also explains my approach (See the Alligator Go Away post). And I have witnessed enough kid drama that it's hard for me to forget that when I think of something like this. I treasure the time with Anna every night because even though I enjoy doing other things with my evening, there's nothing I enjoy more than being with her. So....I think the book is a decent concept gone too far. But, like Becky says, just don't buy it, right? :)
ReplyDeleteHow did I miss this one?? I understand both sides. I have two pretty good sleepers, so bed time has never really been an issue. But, when I first saw the book and then heard Samuel L. Jackson read it, I laughed. I feel bad for the kids who are spoken to in this tone. I do not use language like this on a regular basis (although, I have let some words fly), but never in front of my kids.
ReplyDeleteWith that said, I don't think this book changes the fact that kids are spoken to this way, as sad and terrible as it is. The kids were already being spoken to in this manner long before this book came out. I don't think parents who read the book are going to change their parenting and think it is suddenly "ok" to speak this way. The ones who do, have already been doing it. The ones who don't, can hate the book or laugh about it, but nothing will change in their way of parenting.
I would not buy the book or read it to my kids. I took it as a funny story, an inside joke, among parents. For me, it's similar to an R rated comedy. I can enjoy it with my husband and adult friends, but would never take my kids.