The Discussion Continues: Support for Maggie

Yesterday we discussed Paul Kramer's forthcoming children's book, Maggie Goes on a Diet.  I wrote a scathing review in which I explained why I abhor everything about this concept for a book geared to children in a society where everyone focuses too much on the wrong things as it is.

Though I haven't read the book itself, I read a number of articles about it before writing my last post.  It proved a bit difficult to find one that supported this book, but after much searching, I managed to do just that.

Where, you ask?  Why, in one frankly unsurprising place:  the Fox News website.

Yes, that's right - a psychiatrist, Dr. Keith Ablow, wrote an article for Fox "News" (using the term very loosely) praising the book because we need to teach our children to "control their appetites" - as if this is the only root cause of the obesity problem in this country. That's not a simplistic view or anything.

But it goes on.  Here's my favorite part, and I quote:

"Nutritionists and child psychologists who charge that Kramer's book will cause eating disorders presume that telling children to eat healthily—even if that means eating less and exercising—will make them sick. This is akin to suggesting that if we advise them to abstain from, or simply even limit, sexual activity that they will become sexually repressed and suffer from a sexual disorder. I don't buy that—at all."

This is wrong on SO many levels. I'd love to hear what you have to say.  My two cents?  This guy is an idiot - the sex analogy is ridiculous. And let me see, if I don't like this book, that means that I think telling kids to eat healthy food will make them sick. What?  How does he even reach that conclusion?

This praying mantis has about as much to do w/the book

 as that quote does. Just sayin'.

I suppose it's based on the faulty premise that this book is tantamount to telling kids to eat healthy food. Well, that's one way to look at it...the other would be that it tells kids to buy into the mean things other kids say about them and change so they can be more popular.  Or that being thin correlates (or should correlate) with popularity and success in sports. (Tell that to all those burly star football players out there.)  Or that they can never be happy through simply loving and accepting themselves as they are, other jerks be damned.

You know, things along those lines.

Again, I want to stress that I am all for children, including mine, eating well but not overeating, consuming more vegetables than chocolate, and being outside running around rather than sitting in front of the TV playing video games all day, or whatever it is that Kramer thinks overweight kids do. Getting healthy is great.  Shaming people into it is not.

Photo credit: thisisyourconscience.com

Not only is the ridicule approach that seems to motivate Maggie damaging to kids' self-esteem, but it also doesn't produce lasting change.  Making any change for someone else, even if it benefits you, is less likely to actually stick than if you do it for yourself because it's the right time and you're ready.

Case in point:  someone I love has tried quitting smoking a number of times.  She knows it is bad for her and many of her loved ones want her to quit.  But we all know it's not as simple as that. She has made attempts because she knows it's unhealthy and because a number of us want her to and have even bugged her to....but those attempts eventually all failed.  For whatever reason, it just wasn't the right time, or she wasn't ready.  Who knows. All I know is that trying to get someone else to do what you want them to, even if it's a good thing, doesn't always lead to real success.

But the part that pisses me off most about this review is the part about how people who think this book is bad must be the kind of people who give "ribbons and trophies to their kids whether they win or lose." Hmm, first of all, I'm not in a position to do that, and second of all, what the hell is wrong with encouraging ALL kids to participate and do things they enjoy, like play sports, even if they're not the star of the team? Who's to say you can't encourage competition and at the same time - gasp! - make everyone feel good about themselves for trying?

Photo by Cultura Images/Captureshot

That is absolutely absurd.

Dr. Ablow also accuses us naysayers who care about their kids' self-esteem and dislike this book of being the kind of parents who indulge their kids with bad things, like too many sweets, because we might "injure" them by saying no. Excuse me? Has he sat at our dinner table? Has he watched how we parent our kids?  I think not.  Criticizing this book for highlighting the teasing endured by kids who don't fit in - and impliedly glorifying it for being a motivator to change and to seek superficial popularity - does NOT equate to indulging my child and letting her gorge herself on sweets because I don't feel like saying no.

Sometimes I feel I shouldn't dignify things that stupid with a response, but I can't help myself when my parenting is assailed for no good reason just because I think there are better methods than a book like this to educate kids about healthy living. And because I think his views about what may contribute to obesity are far too narrow and simplistic to help him advocate a real solution to that problem.

I appreciate everyone's comments yesterday and look forward to hearing what you have to say about this review of the book.