I’m sure most, if not all, of you have at least heard of TLC’s reality show, Toddlers & Tiaras. This foray into the world of children competing in beauty pageants – and their sometimes crazy parents – has garnered both praise and criticism from viewers. But mostly criticism.
So, as usual, I want to dive into the discussion and then get some feedback from you.
After putting Anna to bed one night, I stumbled sleepily into the living room (hey, even waking up is impressive most nights) to find Kelsey and Heidi watching this show. Although I was half-asleep and should’ve gone right back to bed, I sat down to watch too.
I had one of those stereotypical “train wreck” experiences….you know, where you want to look away but for some reason just can’t.
I don’t know what was more distressing, seeing kids Anna’s age scantily clad, overly made-up and strutting down a catwalk, or seeing their parents “encourage” them by berating them or embarrassing them.
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| This is Makenzie, who doesn't even look like a kid (credit: Brian Haley) |
Okay, I do know. These parents are just a tad nutty. If it weren’t for their antics, many of these kids wouldn’t be prancing around on stages in bikinis. And, while I’m sure some of the kids do enjoy the pageant experience, a lot of them seem far less enthusiastic than their fame-hungry parents.
You get the feeling that a lot of these parents are vicariously living through their kids, that maybe they weren’t cute enough to compete themselves so they have to experience the rush through prodding their reluctant kids through the process.
I understand the impulse to show off your cute kid. I may be bragging, but I honestly think Anna is one of the cutest kids I’ve ever seen. (Since I can’t take any credit for her looks, that’s okay, right?) But I don’t care how cute she is, there is no way in hell she’s going to get on a pageant stage wearing a tight dress and hooker boots and enough makeup for 3 people.
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| From ew.com |
Think this is a stereotype of the contestants? Think again. Check out this article from Entertainment Weekly featuring the latest T&T controversy – a child contestant dressed as Julia Roberts from “Pretty Woman.” No, not conservatively-clad Julia from the uppity polo match part, but hooker Julia from the streetwalker part.
Who in their right mind would dress their child this way, even for a pageant?
As you’ll note, the mother defended her actions by explaining that children in the pageant could dress in "celebrity wear" and that, since Julia Roberts is her favorite actress, it made sense to dress her little girl this way.
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| From ew.com |
Um, correct me if I’m wrong, but Julia Roberts is a fabulous and prolific actress who has been in many, many movies, any of which probably would’ve yielded a better costume for this kid. And clearly, this is all about mom - this child probably has no idea who Julia Roberts is.
But I digress. In order to make this a “fair and balanced” post, I tried hard to think of any redeeming characteristics of the show, anything positive or valuable that kids could take away from the pageant/ competition experience.
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| From backtocharleston.blogspot.com |
I came up empty-handed.
I briefly flirted with the idea of increasing kids’ self-confidence or something, but there are so many other activities that could do that without simultaneously turning the kids into caricatures of adults.
Before I cede the soapbox to others, I will say that now that I think about it, my problem isn’t as much with the show as it is with the concept of child beauty pageants anyway. Even if TLC chose not to air this, which may be a wise choice, it would still be happening across the country. Kids would still be paraded around in swimsuits or slutty outfits, cheered on (or, in some cases, prodded on) by overzealous parents.
So, the greater evil isn’t really that it’s on the air – heck, for all I know, the producers could be poking fun at these people, not glorifying them – it’s that kids are exploited in this way.
Okay – let me have it! I look forward to hearing what others think.
Well you asked for it, so here goes. I sometimes watch this show, and have actually let my oldest daughter watch with me. She and I both shake our heads at the mothers and fathers and feel sorry for the little girls who mostly just want to play dress up and put on a little make-up. Most of the girls also love to dance and perform. I see nothing wrong with any of these things, my concern is the same as yours. When the parents are berating their children to get them to be perfect, when the fun becomes all about shocking and winning.
ReplyDeleteI am totally against child pageants and sort of against adult pageants, but I do know some women who have competed in the Miss America pageants who really seem to take their "jobs" as role models very seriously. They use their status to promote very important platforms and let's face it, most people respond well to a pretty face. These women also always travel with a chaperone to every event, and they are never allowed to drink alcohol at these events.
But that is not the goal of these child pageants, they are for exploiting children's desire to dress up and perform. It is a money hungry business and it literally eats it's young alive. Whenever I see those poor girls being fed energy drinks and sugar sticks to keep themselves pumped up, my stomach turns. Here is the sad fact though, the reality is, this sort of pushing to be the best happens in many different venues. Kids sports, child actors, child models. There are always going to be parents who use their kids to fulfill their own dreams, and in the process compromise their child's innocence.
Ok. So.. Anna IS one of the cutest kids ever to be seen.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I can't hate on TLC for this show. I feel like they are showing the rest of the world the crazy inappropriate thing that is toddler beauty pageants! Almost like an expose. Maybe I'm trying to see the best in the station.
It goes far beyond, "hey, let's enter this toddler in the Little Miss Greene County Fair. It might be fun!" We entered Walker into the cutest baby contest at the fair last year. He did not win. Travesty. His presentation was based on his amazing balance-on-dad's-hand trick and waving.
Very awesome.
I even felt guilty for entering him, and relieved that he won't remember it. People are going to judge him for the rest of his life based on his appearance. Why set him up for it?
The girls on that show freak me out. Why exploit them? They are more sexified than I am, and I have actual boobs!
And, right or wrong, when I see those girls, it makes me think of Jon-Benet Ramsey, and I feel so sad. Does it do that to anyone else?!
I agree. It turns in to a hairy situation when the pageant contestant is so young. It makes you wonder who is making the decision. I mean, they enter pageant after pageant.
ReplyDeleteThe adult pageants often come with scholarships and charitable benefits, and those girls are, I feel, equipped to decide on their own. I totally agree that it isn't just in pageants, either.
Then again, how will our kids discover talents, unless we offer them the opportunities to develop them? Sigh. There is so much to consider as a parent. : )
I think of her too. I almost wrote about that but decided not to.....it's hard to look at these girls without remembering her. Her disappearance marked the first time I remember publicly hearing about these pageants. It's hard enough to keep kids innocent for a long time so I think it's awful to rush the process by "sexing" up these kids.
ReplyDeleteBut I think the contest you mentioned with Walker was totally innocent. It doesn't have the characteristics of a pageant, and you're not a hyper, crazy show mom (I think! LOL). We did something similar when we entered Anna into a "baby idol" contest on a local radio station's website. She was about 6 months old and it was just based on how many people voted for the baby's picture. The winner was this nondescript, bald little boy whose family must have known a lot more people than we did because there's no way he was the cutest kid in that contest - there were tons of other kids, besides Anna, who were way cuter. I'm not bitter or anything. ;)
However, we did briefly consider the idea of getting her into modeling, but rejected it for the same reasons we wouldn't want her involved in pageants. We don't want her too sexualized too early, and too body conscious or focused on using looks to get what you want. There's nothing wrong with being cute, but kids need to learn there is so much more to it than that. And I'm not just talking about the "talent" portion of these competitions.
Well said. You're exactly right, the drive to perfection is everywhere, not just in pageants - sports, academics, clubs, music groups, etc. There is nothing wrong with letting your child have fun and dress up - Anna loves to stumble around the house in Heidi's work heels with a little blush on her face. But turning that natural interest into this cutthroat industry that is more about the parents than the kids is really sad.
ReplyDeleteAs for adult pageants, I'm not crazy about those either, primarily because prizing that (fake) ideal of beauty also doesn't help girls' self-images. But beyond that, I really don't care. They are adults and can do what they want (although who knows if any of them were forced into hyper-competitive pageants as kids). As you said, with the kids, it's just exploitation.